State of Dabar

State of Dabar

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So just when it was time for Marcus to make a decision on his feelings, Temwani has to choose between staying in GH or going back to Zambia. What choice did she make? Let’s see…

“… so… I’ve decided to go back to Zambia.”

Silence followed.

“Marcus, babe, I’m sorry, I really am, but… this-this just isn’t something I can toss aside just like that…”

“So-so… so I’m not enough a reason for you to stay or something? Is that what you mean?”

“Uh, Marcus, that’s not what I’m saying-“

“But it is, Temwani. It is. You’re saying being with me is not good enough, and that this work thing is more important.”

“Marcus, really? Where is this coming from? Why are you saying this?”

“Coz it’s the truth! This interior whatever is clearly more important than me. You think I can’t decipher that? Huh?”

“Marcus, what the hell?? You’re saying it like I couldn’t care less about you. You know damn well how hard I’ve struggled with this. This isn’t fair!”

“And you think you’re being fair to me? After all we’ve had together? Seriously?”

***

Marcus rose from his bed. It was a beautiful Saturday morning, but the brightness was nowhere near a reflection of what was going on within his heart. The past month had been an awful one.

Ever since that phone call where Temwani revealed her decision, their relationship had grown quite sour. Her cute little giggle was something he hadn’t seen in ages, their outings decreased totally, and their conversations were filled more with vitriol than sweetness.

His reaction to her decision had sparked off a very unpleasant phase in their relationship, and until the day of her departure, it remained as unpleasant.

Even on the day of her departure, the day they should have put aside their differences, they were at it in the car at the parking area for departing people…

“I guess this is it, right? This is the moment you say goodbye and this thing we had becomes history, right?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Marcus, can you stop being so dramatic? What is this?”

“But isn’t it true? You naa, you say you don’t know if you’ll come back. I dey lie?”

“Marcus, please, stop this-“

“I dey lie, yes or no?”

“Marcus, I said when I get there, we’ll see how to figure this out! Don’t I have family members here? Why are you acting like I have nothing else to come back to?”

“Family members, but you chose to go back.”

“You know what? I’m tired of all this! Let me just get my stuff and go. I can’t take this no more.”

“Okay ooo, lemme help you-“

“NO! I don’t need your help. I can take them by myself. Just go. Leave. Get outta here!”

As she walked into the terminal with her belongings, he drove out of the parking lot, his heart filled with anger and bitterness, and his mind focused on all the annoyances and fights they had had.

When he got home, though, as he lay on his bed, he went through pictures on his phone. As he saw the pictures he had taken with her, from their last ‘civil’ date to the early days of their relationship, he started to ponder over what had happened.

Memories came flooding in. All the good times they had had, and the sweet moments they had shared.

Reminiscing about their relationship, he realized how messed up the last few weeks had been. The pang of regret struck him hard, and he rolled over and started to weep.

What a fool I’ve been! How could I have ended this beautiful thing on such a bad note? Temwani was one of the most beautiful gifts God has ever given me! How could I have messed this up?

Spending at least fifteen minutes in tears, he was soaked in remorse. His indecisiveness and double-mindedness had played a huge part in this. Despite still harbouring feelings for Allison, the reality of losing Temwani had sent his panic hormones into overdrive, thus the reason for his sour and irrational attitude that had been the source of many fights.

In all of this, the truth about his resurging feelings for Allison was revealed, which only served as fuel to the fire. At a point, he had sarcastically suggested that he’d go back to her straight after she left. Even as he lay there sobbing, he knew it was the love Temwani had for him that made her slap him when he said that, instead of dealing with him the way she did that lawyer.

Wiping his tears, he had decided that it was no longer wise to keep mute about the confusion within, so he called his father and poured out his heart to him. The senior Mr. Addo-Dery had not been amused.

“Marcus, you haven’t dealt with this issue well at all. You’ve messed with these girls’ emotions with this indecisive behavior. Now look at how you’ve ended this. You should have made a firm decision and stuck by it. You can’t live your life constantly swayed by emotions and feelings, else you’re heading for disaster. I don’t know what you’re going to do, now that she’s gone, but I think you owe her an apology. And Allison too. At this rate, I’m sure you may have to go with Allison. It’s not like you have a choice, anyway…”

***

“…and so I’ve realized how foolish and immature my attitude was. I shouldn’t have kept a double mind. I should have been firm in my resolutions. And I shouldn’t have been as irrational as I was. I’m sorry,” Marcus said to the laptop in front of him, finally getting to talk to Temwani via Skype. A few days had passed since her arrival back in her homeland, and he had finally gathered the courage to video call her and apologize for everything that had happened.

On the screen, she sighed, arms folded, with the straightest of looks on her face. “Okay, Marcus. I’ve heard you.”

The tone of her voice and the look on her face made it quite obvious she still wasn’t happy with him.

“Temwani, please. I know you’re angry with me. I accept that I’ve made a mess of things. My attitude was crap. Absolute crap. And a queen like you didn’t deserve that. Not one bit. I’m sorry, babe. Ever since you left, especially with the way we parted, my mind won’t rest. I can’t believe I was such an ass to you. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry, I really am.”

Shutting his eyes for a moment, he opened them, stared at the screen, and gently continued.

“I can’t stop thinking about how beautiful it used to be. I still remember the way you giggled when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I remember the first time I held you close to me, the chills I felt that night were so awesome. Our dates at Pinocchio. The first time you came to meet my parents. Those silly wrestling matches. Our talks about African history. I miss it all. I miss you. I love you, Temwani. I love you so much. Believe me when I say this. I always have and I always will. I’m sorry it had to end this way, but I can’t live with myself knowing you’re still hurt and mad at me. Please, forgive me.”

Tears formed in his eyes as he said all this.

By the time he was done, Temwani’s stiff defenses were broken down. The way tears streamed down her face relayed the obvious message: despite the anger, the love was not gone.

Between sniffs and wiping her eyes, she mumbled, “Marcus… baby, listen…”

An elderly man appeared on the screen next to her chair. Marcus was startled.

“Hello, Marcus. I am Joseph Mutale. I’m Temwani’s father.”

***

Allison hung up, feeling excited. Marcus had called, and said he wanted to meet her that evening in the church.

Ever since that scary encounter with Temwani, she had decided to withdraw and resort to praying that somehow, a way would be made. The Zambian was a lot more daunting and intimidating than she had expected, and the sweetness that covered it up made it all the more terrifying. So she had stayed far away from them, just leaving her fate in the hands of divinity.

So when the news of her rival having to go back to her homeland reached her ears, her first reaction was to go on her knees and raise her fingers to the sky in gratitude. By the time she heard of it, Temwani had already departed.

And not long after, Marcus had called.

Her prayers had been answered! Now hopefully, something good would come out of this.

She got up and opened her cupboard.

“Gotta find something good to wear.”

***

Marcus walked by the closed restaurant, looking at his reflection in the window. The restaurant in the church usually ended operations at three o’clock on Saturdays, so he could admire himself without worrying about having people staring at him. He looked at the time on his phone. 5:43 pm. He told Allison to be in thirteen minutes earlier. Oh, well, he’d continue to wait…

“Marcus!” a familiar voice called out to him.

He turned. It was Sefakor. She was probably around for a departmental meeting.

The look on her face made it obvious she was not in comedian mode. She approached him and upon getting close to him, softly commented, “You miss her, don’t you?”

He nodded.

She rubbed his arm. “Coming to unwind around here for a while? Just to get your mind off things?”

He shook his head. “Um, no. I’m here to see somebody.”

“Who?”

With a sigh, he answered, “Allison.”

He looked just in time to see the petite lady’s eyes grow wide with shock. “You mean you’re going to…”

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he signaled for her to be calm. “Sefa, easy. Please, I know what I’m doing. I’ve prayed about this, sought counsel about this, and I’ve made my decision. It’s for the best.”

Sefakor looked up at him, her eyes conveying unhappiness. He put an arm around her and hugged her tight. “I know you miss her, Sefa. I know. I miss her more than you can imagine. But I have to do what needs to be done.”

His phone vibrated. He took it out, and nodded.

***

He came to find her leaning next to his car. In a simple yellow blouse and jeans, she was somehow looking cuter than usual. That sharp burn emerged in his tummy.

Wow! She looks stunning!

“Hi, Allison. Thanks for coming.”

“No problem, Marcus,” she responded, doing her best to keep her excitement under control. If she could do a better job at hiding it than she did for her dislike for Temwani, that would be good.

Marcus took a deep breath, then started. “Listen, this is something I have to release, and I won’t waste too much time. I’ve been playing around too much, time to be a man about this. Ally, before we hooked up at the housewarming party, I was convinced I was totally over you, but I was wrong. The feelings never truly went away. Unfortunately, I kept letting my confusion bounce me around; I neglected to take control of my feelings and rule over my thoughts. So I caused a lot of confusion for you girls, and that was so wrong of me.”

“I’ve spoken to Temwani, and she’s forgiven me now. I kinda owed her a bigger apology, because I really hurt her before she left. So I ask that you forgive me for the confusion and insecurity I put you through. I know what I want now.”

That last statement got her excited. She nodded enthusiastically. “Don’t worry, Marcus. You were forgiven a long time.”

“Thank you so much.” He rubbed his hands together and sighed. “So, after much prayer and contemplation, I’ve made my decision.”

This is it! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for.

She leaned over, eagerly awaiting the good news.

“I have decided…”

Yes? Yes?? Yes???

“… that I am staying with Temwani.”

Huh? What did he just say?

Allison looked so confused. She stuttered, “Wh-wh-wh-wh-whuh? What did you say?”

“I’m gonna keep on with Temwani.”

At a loss for words, Allison looked to and fro, looking helpless for a moment. Fixing her eyes back on Marcus, she blurted out, almost wrathfully, “But she’s gone! She’s no longer here! She’s not coming back!”

“Yeah, that’s what we all thought, herself included. See, I spoke to her father, and he said she’s gonna be working at her place for about a year and a half before coming back to establish a branch here in GH. He was made aware of our relationship when she got there, and they’re looking to go continental, so it gelled perfectly.”

Allison couldn’t believe this. She looked dazed and confused, her head full of swear words that couldn’t be released right then.

“I’m sorry, Allison. I never should have led you on the way I did. I’ve been a fool about it, and I know you’re hurt. I don’t take any pleasure in it, I assure you of that. But… I’m convinced beyond all reasonable doubt that it’s Temwani I see myself truly being happy with. If I have to wait another year and a half before I’m with her again, I’m ready for it. I’m really sorry, Allison. But there’s just no you and me.”

***

“How in God’s name is he choosing her over me? How? After the girl ran off to her country just like that, and you’re still willing to wait? I can’t believe this! How could he?”

Mensima sighed as she endured the vocal tsunami of anger and disappointment rushing through her phone. She remained silent, letting Allison unload her frustrations as much as she could. Then when there was silence, she gently spoke.

“Well, Allison, I knew there was some indecisiveness in him. And I knew he’d come to the reality that he needed to make a choice. And now he has. I told you from the onset not to get your hopes too high, though. Looks like you didn’t listen to me. I understand your disappointment, but if he’s really made up his mind this time… there’s nothing you can do about it. He says he’ll wait for the Zambia girl to come back. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to, but some people handle the long-distance thing well. Honestly, sister, let it go. Let it go.”

“But I don’t –”

“Azayy, sister geh, listen to me! Stop! If the girl has gone back to Zambia and he’s decided to wait for her, then it’s obvious he’s dead serious. You’ll only make yourself an enemy at this rate. Just stop. Let it go.”

Silence on the other end.

“I’m sorry, Allison. You’re not winning this fight. It’s not gonna happen. Put up the white flag. There’s no start-over here. It’s over…”

THE END

… or is it?

No, not really! There’s a lovely ending awaiting us. Stay tuned for it!

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