How is this crazy weekend at the Browns’ residence gonna end?

I stood by the door, utter confusion on my face. What?!

So the original plan was for Vincent to be there? So I was the visitor that shouldn’t have been there? What the hell was going on?

Robin stared fiercely at her parents and Vincent, breathing in and out with a ferocity that I had never seen before.

Mr. Brown pointed to the sofa. “Sit down. Now. Let this… this criminal find his way back to his fraud den or wherever he dwells. You and him have no business anymore. We are settling this matter right now. We’ve wasted enough time. And don’t think we’re not bringing up the disgraceful acts you and him were carrying out in the room. We’re dealing with that as well.”

Robin shook her head, folded her arms and laughed scornfully as he and Vincent moved to take their seats.

“Hey, what is wrong with you?” Mrs. Brown snapped. “Didn’t you hear what your father said? Instead of you showing remorse, you’re laughing. Hurry up and sit down! We have a lot to discuss.”

Robin was still shaking her head as her mother spoke. Her eyes narrowed, and she slowly started.

“You must be fucking demented to think I’m going to do as you say.”

Mr. Brown, who had taken his seat, sprung to his feet. “WHAATTT!”

“Oh, you heard me! You heard me loud and clear! Listen here, Mr. and Mrs. Brown, I did not come to this house to pander to your dumb little whims about getting back with Vincent. I did not come here so we can patch things up. I’ve told you two, time without count, that I will not return to this cheating, manipulative son of a bitch you keep trumpeting as the second coming of Christ. I will not! I came here to introduce you to a real man. One who respects me, one who loves me, one who doesn’t treat me like I’ve got no brain cells stapled into my skull. That is why I came here. Not for this asshole. I couldn’t care less about him!

“And I couldn’t be more disappointed in the two of you, considering how you’ve spent this weekend disrespecting him, conjuring all sorts of fake rubbish about him, and making him feel like a nonentity just because ‘he’s not your choice for me’! Such an insult to me. I will not stay here for any wack-ass discussion about anything. If y’all really love this Vincent man so much, marry him yourselves! As for me, I’ll rather wax my own eyeballs than even smile in this fool’s face. Bye!”

That heavy tirade over, Robin spun around and headed in my direction.

“Hey, come back here!”

“Where do you think you’re going?”

That second statement was from Vincent, who had sprung to his feet and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her back into the living room.

“Let me go, you pig!” she spat at him as she tried to break free from his grasp.

“No!” he shot back. “Stop fooling around and let’s settle this matter now!”

“Hey! Leave her alone!” I barked, moving menacingly toward him.

“Shut up over there!” Mrs. Brown snapped at me. “Shameless fraudster!”

“Bring her here!” Mr. Brown ordered fiercely. “She’s not going anywhere!”

Bro, what happened in the next couple of seconds… hmmm. They came fast.

Robin suddenly reached into her pocket.

Out of it came a small folding knife.

She flicked it open.

And before anyone could say Jack, she slashed it right into the right cheek of Vincent.

“AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!”

From anger to sheer horror, in the blink of an eye.

Vincent stumbled back, wailing in pain, with blood gushing out of his cheek as a screaming Mrs. Brown rushed to his side. An awestruck Mr. Brown stood in shock at what had just transpired. Then his gaze turned to Robin.

Fury in his eyes, he roared as he lunged toward her. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!”

“DON’T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME!” Robin screamed, holding up the bloodied knife.

Mr. Brown stopped in his tracks.

“I dare you! Yeah, I double dare you! Right now. Come near me and see if I won’t gouge your fucking eyeballs out! I dare you! Come! Come near me! Grab my arm right now! See if there won’t be blood all over this floor! Come on! COME FOR MEEE!”

Listen, I’ve seen crazy things in my lifetime. But nothing will ever be as crazy as this was. I was just standing by the door, taking everything in. 

Mr. Brown remained in statue mode, clearly taken aback by his daughter’s hysterics. Mrs. Brown was whimpering sorrowfully as she tended to a bleeding Vincent. Robin stood there, breathing heavily with the bloodied knife.

Insanity. Absolute insanity.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I came here with Jay and I’m leaving with him. You two can stay with this cursed swine and shove your heads way up his ass all you want. I don’t give a SHIT about him! Jay! Let’s move out.”

I was too in the moment to hear her call to me at that point. Everything was so surreal at that moment…

“Jay!”

I snapped out of it and turned to her. The fierce look still on her face, she barked, “I said let’s go. Now!”

She didn’t need to repeat herself. I was out the door faster than you could imagine.

***

It was the quietest drive back home we’ve ever had.

I just drove silently, my eyes fixed on the road, while Robin sat back quietly, with barely a glance in my direction. Whether it was out of shame or embarrassment or anger or whatever, I have no idea. But the journey home was a long silent one.

Damn, that was a bloody end to our stay there…

***

As I moved the car into the driveway of our home, I turned the engine off, took a deep breath, and just… stared into oblivion.

What a relief it was to be back home. But what a horrible weekend it was!

After a few minutes of continued silence, Robin finally broke it.

“Babe. I’m sorry. This was not what should have happened,” she spoke up. “I know this was… mega awkward, and I’m sorry. I… I really dunno what to say. I…”

I slowly turned to look at her.

“Robin,” I began silently. “This was not an awkward weekend. It was an awful weekend. I have never been disrespected like that before. Your parents were premium assholes. They treated me like shit, just because of that Vincent fool. Called me stupid ass names when they don’t know shit about me. Robin, this was not awkward, it was awful! Fucking awful! There was nothing awkward about this weekend, from the moment we arrived there, right down to what happened before we left! This weekend has been horrible, man! Absolutely horrible!”

Robin had no response to that. She knew it was the truth and nothing but the truth.

“And by the way, another thing. Robin, please be honest with me. Was I actually the visitor in that house for the weekend? Was it really supposed to be you and Vincent who would spend the weekend there?”

Robin shook her head. “Babe, there’s no need…”

“Babe, please, just answer me. I just wanna know the truth.”

Robin sighed, looking out the window for a moment. Then she opened her mouth to answer.

“That was the original plan. My parents demanded that I come over so they would ‘settle’ the matter between us. And I told them there was no way in hell I would do that, and if I did show up in their house, it would be to introduce you to them. They wouldn’t agree. It was a gridlock thing for many weeks, to be honest. I wouldn’t budge, they wouldn’t budge.

“Then all of a sudden… they just seemed to give up on their demands. So a few weeks went by, and I reminded them that I would be coming over with you. They didn’t resist, so I thought everything was finally in place for you to be accepted, only for this to happen. Honestly, babe, if I had known my parents would put up a shit show this bad, I wouldn’t have put you through this. I’m sorry. So, so sorry…”

I simply sat in silence, staring at the windscreen.

Was she telling the truth? At that moment, I honestly wasn’t too sure. But did it matter? What had happened had happened.

“Babe, it’s been rough, I know. But at least it’s over now. And you know what? I’m sure they’ll come around eventually,” Robin urged, rubbing my arm.

I looked at her in surprise. “Come around? Babe! After this weekend, with them doing their best to make me look like Hitler’s spawn? And especially after what went down this morning? Slicing that dumb wanker and threatening your dad with the knife? You think they’ll come around? Babe, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve called the cops and told them I’m the one who slashed that fool, just to teach me a lesson.”

Robin shook her head. “Baaaaabe! They’re my parents. I know them. And I’m telling you, they’ll come around eventually. They will.”

That wasn’t enough to wipe the doubt off my face. The idea of them ‘coming around’ at that point sounded as believable as the myth of the Tooth Fairy.

Robin rubbed my arm again and gave me a little smile. “Trust me, babe. Just give it time. Believe me, they will come around. Now let’s go inside and take a shower. I can still smell myself all over you.”

Now that got me. I laughed out loud and unbuckled my seat belt. “Sure, fine. Let’s go.”

So we went in and did what we gotta do. And that was the end of that, I guess.

But… I dunno, man. I love Robin so much, like, really, I do. But after that weekend, I’m starting to have a lot of doubts, coz yo, it was bad. I have never seen such a show of irrationality before, and it really hurt. Fine, you prefer Vincent to me, that’s okay. But to openly disrespect and treat me that way? Nah, man. That’s not just wrong, that’s cruel. And wicked. Mr. and Mrs. Brown are evil folks, point blank period!

And about my girl. Honestly, I’ve never seen Robin this outraged before. It was that bad. Screaming and cussing at her parents, even to the extent of threatening to gouge out her dad’s eyeballs. I dunno, man, I’m conflicted…

On one hand, I’m thinking these are plain red flags I can’t ignore. Her parents have proven to be some evil folks, for one. And she’s clearly got an unhinged side to her that makes her ready to cut up her loved ones if need be. That scares the crap out of me, and I’m thinking it’s best I let her go and move on.

But on the other hand, I feel mean for thinking that way. I mean, the only reason Robin went batshit crazy is that her parents were fucking up so spectacularly. There’s no way she’d do that if they behaved like reasonable human beings with actual brains and emotions. And I dunno, there’s this little part of me that believes her, that Mr. and Mrs. Brown will actually come to their senses and drop the whole Vincent butt-licking and accept me. Besides, it feels like I and Robin are way too deep in to consider a break-up.

I dunno, man. What do you think? Coz I’m in a fix right now…

Oh, by the way, her folks didn’t call the cops on me, so yeah, there’s that…

THE END

Well, what a weekend that was! Memorable for all the wrong reasons. It’s fair to say that Jay’s been seriously scarred by all that. What advice would you give him? Should he stay on and hope they come around or should he just end it and move on?

Thanks for reading, and as always, enjoy yourself around the State!