“Face! Down! Ass! Up!” Ferdinand chanted to himself as he drove through the free streets of Accra. As usual, it was close to midnight, and he was on his way back to his home. He was clearly still riding on the high of what had gone down that evening, and was enjoying every bit of the memory they had made.
“Man, we sure did cook up the biggest serving of shithousery known to mankind!” he laughed to himself as he drove on. From the moment Kirania sent the voice note to Princess, they had watched intently to see if she would play it. The moment the play button turned blue, they both burst into laughter. Kirania had added a funny text message for good measure: Ever heard of the art of fucking? Well that’s it right there. Too bad you can’t try out with Ferdy, though, coz he’s mine.
He couldn’t lie, though, he had been pretty stunned by the idea when she first mentioned it to him. That idiot at home was the last thing on his mind when he was with Kirania, so doing something to screw her over would barely come to mind. Upon quick consideration, though, he thought it would be a funny thing and decided to go along with it. Besides, he knew Kirania had a crazy streak about her, and the best thing to do was to flow with her ways. Once it had to do with what he had been hungry for, he was all up for it.
And considering he was busily devouring those fit mammary glands of hers when she asked, he wouldn’t have wanted to spoil the mood and risk having her lose interest totally in the moment by declining.
He arrived at the gate and pressed the remote. The gate duly opened and he drove in.
As he parked the car in its usual position and he got out of the car, he snickered once again as he remembered the passionate mischief of the night. “Sweetest backshots ever,” he grinned to himself as he entered the house.
He walked in, and there sat Princess in the living room.
Her face in her palms.
He snorted, and walked on.
“Why did you send that to me?”
He heard those words for a moment, but didn’t even bother to look back. He continued his journey to his bedroom.
“Ferdinand, why did you and your girlfriend send that to me? How could you do that to me?”
He looked back in annoyance. Princess was sitting up straight, a pretty stormy expression on her face.
“My friend, my friend, don’t come and disturb me!” he snapped. “I’ve had a long day, and I’m tired. I don’t have time for your gibberish.”
“Why did you do that to me? Why did you do that to me? WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME??!!!”
In less than five seconds, the upset-looking Princess with tear stains had sprung out of the couch and turned into a hysterical, screaming woman. A wounded soul with a raging furnace in her bosom.
Ferdinand simply stared at her with a scornful expression. “Massa, massa, let me think.” He proceeded to walk on to the bedroom. “It’s not this your emotionally unstable madness that will come and disturb me this even-“
An object flew in front of him before the crashing sound of glass against the wall interrupted his rant. He yelped and jumped back.
“JESUS! Herh, what the fuck, woman!”
Before he could fully regain his balance, Princess was upon him, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and shaking him vigorously.
“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME! HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU? HOW CAN YOU HURT ME THIS WAY? HOW COULD YOUUUUUUU??!!”
***
Hurt would be too insufficient a word to describe what Princess was feeling at that moment. The audio of Ferdinand and Kirania having heated coitus had really ripped at her spirit, and the wounds were gaping wide and sore.
She screamed and shook Ferdinand as roughly as she could, outraged and stupefied that he would hit her that low.
Too caught up in her anguished wails of angst, though, she lost her grip on his shirt. She was shoved back by Ferdinand. The next thing she knew, his heavy palm forcefully connected with her face.
A loud shriek escaped her lips as she fell to the floor.
Before she could recollect herself from her stunned state, Ferdinand was over her, delivering more heavy slaps to her face.
“FOOL! FUCK YOU! STUPID BITCH! HOW DARE YOU ATTACK ME IN MY OWN HOUSE! YOU ARE A FOOL!”
With extreme anger fuelling the force behind those slaps, Princess was virtually half-conscious by the time he was through with her. She couldn’t move a muscle at that moment. All she could hear was his enraged voice.
“See, you are leaving this house this very night! I don’t care if it’s midnight. Armed robbers can attack you on the road for all I care! You are leaving this house right now! Foolishness! You break my beautiful appreciation plaque, then try and attack me on top? Ofui! Gyimifuo! Useless woman! You are finished!”
The next thing she heard was the stomping of feet into the guest room.
***
Ten minutes later, Ferdinand stepped out with a ‘Ghana must go’ bag full of Princess’ clothing and other items. He didn’t pack every single thing of hers, but of course, in the fit of rage he was in, you wouldn’t expect him to meticulously and carefully pack all her stuff.
All he wanted at that moment was to get rid of her. No more waiting for a week; she needed to get out ASAP.
Dragging the bag out of the room, he saw her. Still dazed on the floor.
Oh, how he wanted to stick the heel of his Berluti leather shoe into her heel! The utter nerve of her to stand in front of him and attack him!
He grabbed her by the collar of her Lacoste shirt and forced her up. “Come on, get up!” he barked at her.
She tried to resist him, but was immediately stunned back into a stupor by a backhand to the face. Falling back to the floor, he grabbed her collar again and dragged her across the living room to the front door.
In a matter of minutes, they were at the gate. Ferdinand opened it and threw the bag onto the rough road, then pushed Princess out of the compound as hard as he could.
“Swine woman! Infertile bitch!” he snarled at her as she lay on the ground, weeping bitterly. “See, I don’t care what happens to you from this moment onwards. Whether armed robbers come and take your Ghana must go, or rapists come and rape you till you die, I don’t care! Never set foot in this house ever again! You hear me! Aboa!”
With that, he closed the gate on her. Having locked it, he dusted off his hands, feeling very satisfied with himself.
“Finally,” he congratulated himself as he walked back to the house, “I’m done with that fool for good.”
Hmmm. At this point, I don’t think I have any words for Ferdinand. None at all…
