Welcome, dear reader!

In this short story before us, we will be following a young man who’s going out of town for a special reason. So what is he going to do, and will it be a successful trip? These questions will be answered in due course…

It’s about 2:26 pm this sunny Friday afternoon when I pick up my bag and head out the door, my phone in my hand as I yell out, “I’m leaving now!”

“Alright! Chale, safe journey!” my older brother calls out.

I have the stupidest grin on my face as I step out the front door, make my way to the gate and open it to see the red Daewoo Matiz waiting for me.

I jump in and greet the Uber driver, who responds. “Uh, boss, I beg, where are we going to?” he asks.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. These Uber drivers kraaaa, why? Don’t they see the location before accepting the ride? What this?

Anyways, me, I’m in a hurry to get moving, so I just tell him, “VIP yard, boss.”

“Oh, okay, okay. Sure.”

We start moving.

Oh, chale, sorry ooo. I haven’t introduced myself. Sorry. E do aa, I dey do bush boy things. I dey beg, wai.

So my name is Grant Bartels. Aka Paa Grant.

The nickname is a term of endearment my mom gave me, by the way. It’s not like I’m related to the Paa Grant you know as a Ghanaian.

I’m 24 years old, I finished my national service not too long ago, and I live with my parents and older brother, Maxwell. But my old folks are currently out of the country on some two-week conference. So right now, ibi boyz-boyz for house.

As far as my bro is concerned, I’m off to Kumasi to see one of my guys who was outside the country and came back recently. He knows my guy, Paa Yaw, was schooling in the Dubai campus of the University of Birmingham, and he came back not too long ago, so that story checked out for him. I’ve gone to see him a couple of times and my parents know about it, so chale, he’s cool.

But that’s not the real reason I’m going there.

You wanna know what it is?

Well… I met this chic on Badoo. We got to chatting. And uh… the vibe is hot! So I suggested one time that we spend some time together. We went back and forth on it, but yeah, we agreed on this weekend!

Yep! I’m off to meet this sexy girl and have some fun time with her.

Oh, by the way, in case you know about Badoo and you’re wondering…

No. Hell no. She’s not into hookups.

If I dey that site top wey I see hookup for your distin top, I dey swipe right fastest. Tweaa! Hookup diɛɛ, no lie. Make I come pay 500 cedis for doggy wey go last like 5 minutes? 100 cedis per minute? Apuu! Never in my life! E do aa, I dey hear them things then I dey wonder what dey worry niggas.

But anyways, forget that.

So this babe… oh, by the way, her name is Adjo. This babe actually liked my profile first, then sent a Hi. 

Yep! The babe moved to me first.

So I checked out her profile and I saw all the delicious pics she put up. There norr, I make interested. But I had to do my checks first. I saw her ‘profile’, where she made it clear she’s not into hookups… all the stuff I need to see. Then I started chatting with her.

And chale, the way I enjoyed our chat! That’s how I was assured that this hottie is not a hookup girl, coz they usually hate the whole ‘getting to know you’ vibe. They just wanna get a meeting place, f**k and take their money afterwards.

Insert vomit face emoji.

Anyways, about Adjo. She’s Adjo Jiagge, a final year student of Tech. She’s doing Psychology there, and she apparently lives in Sunyani during the vacation. Second of four children, her dad is a psychologist, her mom is a stay-at-home mama. Not the biggest fan of football, but she admires CR7.

That’s some interesting info about her. But chale, it’s the physicals for me! Damn it, the physicals!

So technically, she’s not sent me her pics; the major ones I saw were on Badoo, and they’re not downloadable. Dunno why, but I wish they were. But what you see when you see Adjo is one hell of a sexy girl. A sexy girl who knows she’s sexy and works to maximize that sexiness in her.

She’s clearly not very tall, and she’s quite slim and slender. She no get big ass wey she no sheda get big boobs too. But lawd have mercy, the body be sweet! Wey she dey carry herself make her body shape dey make nigga fit craze. Aboowa!

Wey she get those natural pouting lips, too, so chale, the thought of kissing her sef be sweet. How much more the actual kissing?

So chale, we’ve been chatting, and chale, me, I tell the girl sey she dey bee me waaaa, na her style dey bost my mind. She too, she said she finds me extremely handsome, and I’m the type of guy she likes and all that. And then, chale, we got into the interesting part.

Enjoying each other’s company.

As we catch that part, I see sey Adjo be naughty girl pass. Herh! The nibbies that girl dey talk, eh. Na me sef, I dey fear. Chaleee! The girl get freaky mind pass!

That be when I see sey I hit be that. So I start dey talk about coming over and tins. At first, na she won do long, but eventually she agree sey make I come. The only thing be sey we no go fit meet for her hostel there, as she get roommates and things. So she choose some lodge bi sey make we meet for there then vibe.

So yeah, that be where I dey go.

So you get it now? Chale, this Adjo girl is a diamond! If I slack for this girl ein top, I no go fit live peacefully. I mean, how often does a nice guy like me get approached by a girl as sexy as her? E no dey happen! A chic like her, unless you send a ‘hey beautiful’ to her DM and pray she somehow decides to answer. If she were on Instagram or TikTok, that would be the case.

She’s not on those socials, by the way. She said she doesn’t find them interesting. I was initially wondering why, but ehh, not everyone is interested in those things. I know that.

So yeah, as she come dey my laps inside, never will I slack. With the video call we had last night, the way I make hype. She was sitting on her bed, with some ankara tube top and hot pants, and chale, the way she said she can’t wait to meet me and spend the weekend with me, eh? I’m too hype!

Herh, that girl, eh. When I get her on my lap, the way I go chew am gidigidi… I swear, she go feel me pass!

Hehehe, I sure sey by now, some of you start dey watch me someway bi, like, why this Paa Grant nigga make hype sey he dey go Kumerica go eat girl?

Well sorry, I no get time answer that. There’s a reason why I didn’t tell my brother where I’m going. He be them chrife types. Lay pastor for some campus church bi, so chale, if he knew where I was going, he go dey talk plenty and tins.

Bro, I don’t really care about what your opinion is. Me, what I know be sey, I get some sweet babe for Kumerica I dey go chew. And this one too, inobi sey catfish matter dey inside; me then the girl do video call. Everything I dey see for the pics inside be accurate.

So yeah, off to Kumerica I go!

Hmmm, so Paa Grant is on his way to have fun with some girl bi. I wonder how this will turn out…