Another day of work come to an end.
As Wayne’s old Toyota Corolla moved into the compound of the self-contained apartment he lived in, he nodded to himself. “Another couple of cedis earned to keep living in this city. Chale, it’s not easy, but how again we go do am?” he said to himself. “At least in all of this, I have something sweet to come home to.”
Stepping out of the door and locking it, he marched to the front door and entered into the living room. He stopped and stared at the woman before him, busily checking herself out in the mirror in their dining room.
And he smiled.
Yep, this was the ‘something sweet’ he came to. A gorgeous lady dressed in the familiar green and white attire of nurses, with the cutest plump build, eye-catching lips, and the sweetest smile one could be greeted with.
The ‘something sweet’ he had bound himself to for life about seven months ago in a beautiful ceremony. The ‘something sweet’ who was four months pregnant with their first child.
Her name was Alayaa, and he couldn’t be happier to have her as his wife.
She looked at him from the mirror and blew a kiss. “Hey, honey! Welcome home!”
He simply placed his hands on his hips and shook his head as he looked to the skies. “Herh, walahi! God give me good eyes, coz gademmit! Which kind beauty be this?”
Alayaa laughed out loud. “Come here, honey,” she beckoned. “I’ve missed you papa.”
“And I’ve missed you too, you fine-as-heck nurse,” Wayne drawled lovingly as he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “How was your day, and did the little one over here give you any issues?”
Alayaa laughed softly as he landed a deep peck on her cheek while his hands rubbed over her baby bump that was slowly growing visible by the day. “Oh, it’s been a normal day. And nope, our little sweetheart didn’t give me too much stress.”
“Hehe, that’s good. Stephanie was up to her usual mischief?”
Alayaa giggled. “Of course. It’s not Stephanie if she doesn’t say something silly in the course of the day.”
“Hehehe, I know. It’s constant. Anyways, guess who I saw in court today?”
Her right eyebrow went up. “Who?”
“The one and only Mubyyyyyy!”
Alayaa snorted in amusement. “Oh, really? Mr. Mubarak was in court? I see.”
“Yep. He came for some case bi involving the party and some lady bi. Ibi like the party dey owe the lady, so chale, she’s brought it to court, and he was representing the party. I think they didn’t respond early, so the lady’s lawyer filed a motion for judgment in default of defence. Now that they’ve appeared, I guess the suit will take its normal course.”
“Mmmm. I’m sure he was giving you those his evil looks.”
“Oh, he was paaa. As if that changes anything. Tweaaa! He can hug a transformer for all I care, he and his foolishness on social media. Always responding to this breathing incompetence of a government with those equalization tactics. Every day, you want to tell us it would have been worse if it was the other side in power. Kwasiasem kwa! He thinks we all no get sense, eh.”
“Hmmm, Wayne. You naa, you know. They don’t want to listen to anything. Me that I was literally rallying my colleagues to vote for your government, if I’m saying something, you should know it’s serious. But he wouldn’t mind me. Just defensive shots nkoaa. That’s what got me tired.”
“Of course, chale. The fact that I’m intolerant to that bulls**t of theirs and the way you became tired of these antics of theirs, I’m sure he still thinks I influenced you.”
“Oh, they do oo. Stephanie was telling me some time back, that on one of their WhatsApp group chats she’s on, they were saying that it’s because of you that I’ve started being critical of the government and blah blah blah. I was so annoyed. Like ah, so because I’m a party girl, I should turn a blind eye to the wrongs going on? Ɛna you’ve won me to the other side and some nonsense like that.”
“Other side kee them there! That’s all they know. Partisan rubbish! If you’re not licking this government’s ass like them then you’re automatically an enemy. That rubbish diɛɛ, I don’t do it ooo. Some of us are devoted to Ghana before party ooo. If you’re doing well, we’ll say it. If you’re not, we’ll say it. And it’s the truth that this government is terrible! Absolutely terrible! Yet, when you say it, they want to gaslight you with nonsense! Them dey bore me pass!”
“Honey, honey,” Alayaa soothed, turning to pat her inflamed husband on the chest, “relaxxxx. Don’t let that guy lead you to lose your temper. It’s okay. No need to get worked up when you’re the winner, remember? He can chat rubbish and chop some of the national cake all he wants, but at the end of the day, who’s coming home to this fat ass?”
Wayne stifled a laugh. The shameless and pretty cocky way Alayaa could speak about the desirability of her big butt was something he could never stop laughing at.
Not that she was wrong, though. Aside her overall sweetness and lovable nature, all the men who had fallen for Alayaa could not ignore the blessing behind her. In fact, they went gaga over it, and this Mubarak dude had been one of them, super desperate to tie her down for life. So when he discovered she had chosen Wayne over him, he was pretty outraged and heartbroken, and was yet to forgive her.
As for Wayne, he considered himself massively blessed to have such an endowed wife, and never passed up the opportunity to hungrily eye her goodies whenever possible. If there was one thing no one could deny, it was the fact that he was absolutely and fully enchanted by his wife’s backside.
Alayaa knew it and never missed a chance to tease him in the naughtiest ways she could think of. It was thanks to one of those moments that he took the bait and pounced upon her that she was now carrying their baby.
“Me, of course. That beautiful booty is all mine,” he answered proudly.
“Exactly. So forget him. And remember, these benefits he’s getting, it will come to an end, won’t it? They won’t be in power forever. See, my dearest husband, national cake is temporary, but fat ass is forever.”
Wayne laughed out loud. “Oh my God, Alayaa, you’re crazy!”
“Abi I no dey lie. Anyways, like I’ve said, forget about Muby and his foot soldier rubbish. He naa, he blocked me long time, so I couldn’t care one bit. Now lemme get you your dinner, okay? Lemme serve you like the king that you are.”
“Alright, my queen.”
***
“Another day, another cedi,” Elias sighed as he adjusted his bag over his shoulder and made his way from the bus stop he alighted from.
Another day at work come to an end. Another long trip from Sowutuom to Kasoa. Another short walk back to the place he called home.
A three-storey apartment, of which he occupied the middle one.
He sighed as he began his 20-minute walk to the apartment, shaking his head as he pondered over what he would be facing this evening.
It had been about a year since he had been transferred from the District Court in Ada to this court in Sowutuom, and Mr. Damenera was still yet to fully adapt. He knew many at this courthouse deemed him to not be the friendliest or brightest character at work. And he couldn’t deny it; his moody disposition, straight face and hesitance to join in friendly chats during recess or after His Honour was done with the day’s proceedings was not going to make him a popular figure.
Maybe he still hadn’t gotten over the unhappiness of his transfer and was refusing to just adapt to this new environment. Maybe he hated the fact that he could only get a place at Kasoa and it bled into his work ethic. Maybe it was the environment he had had to put up with since moving to that apartment.
It was probably all three. But the reality was that the quiet, reserved court clerk called Elias was a pretty unhappy man. And he was heading home to one major reason why.
***
He sighed as he arrived at the big black gate with the inscription ‘Horez House’ next to the GhanaGPS number. He pushed it open and made his way onto the moderately-sized compound.
As he walked toward the stairs, he saw her standing at the balcony of the ground floor.
The sixty-something year old lady, wrapped up in her kaba and slit as always.
He could already feel the contempt shooting out of her eyes at him. He sighed within himself and walked on to ascend the stairs, not even acknowledging her presence.
That was one of the reasons he did not enjoy returning home: this old lady who disliked him for no proper reason. For whatever reason, Madam Loverance Aubynn did not like him and did not hesitate to make it known to him. The last time he had greeted her upon returning from work, he received the most evil of glares in response. Which was why he never bothered to greet her.
A minute later, he opened the door and entered his apartment. Throwing himself on the brown couch nearby, he sighed and rubbed his face. “Ugghhhh! Chale, man taya,” he moaned to himself.
Then he heard voices below.
“That Elias guy eh, the way I don’t like him. So arrogant. So high-headed. As if nobody is good enough to speak to him. Meanwhile, it’s not like you have some major job biaa too. Mtcheww.”
“Oh Maa. But you haven’t even tried to speak with him before. How would you know he’s arrogant? Maybe he’s just a quiet person…”
“Oh please. Akyaa, I know an arrogant person when I see one, and that boy is one. Hoh.”
Elias sighed.
It sounded like Madam Loverance’s daughter was around.
She didn’t stay with her mother but came around on a regular basis. He had never actually met her in the whole year he had been around, because she often stayed around for a maximum of three days during the working week, and was gone by the time he had the chance to sight her.
But yeah, she was around, and hearing her mother trash-talk him as usual. This was not the first time she had done that. He didn’t understand why she saw fit to call him arrogant and proud and unfriendly when she was the one constantly acting so hostile toward him. It really baffled him to the core.
Then a giggle above snatched his attention, and he looked up.
“Oooooooooh, you wearing them naughty thongs, eh?”
“Uh-huh. I know you like them.”
“Oh, hell yeah, babe. And you’re gonna like what I do to you tonight.”
Elias shook his head. And there was another problem right above him.
The other tenant, Felix, and his girlfriend, Yaa.
One of those girls with the fakest American accent one’s ears could be tortured with.
Those two were probably the most infuriatingly unpredictable couple he had ever known. If they weren’t screaming their heads off at each other in one of their numerous fights, they were getting loud and raucous with their make-up sessions. And whichever one unfortunately came up, made for an uncomfortable night for him, as they would shamelessly make a racket throughout.
It looked like tonight would be one of those nights where they would make those uncomfortable sounds of pleasure.
Elias sprung up from the sofa. Time to get his earphones and have them plugged in for the rest of the night if he was going to have any semblance of peace.
***
“Chale, another day is over. Man for do then enjoy small, na person too is what?” Divine quipped to himself, a bottle of Smirnoff Ice Pineapple in his hand as he found himself a seat at the bar of Blackberry Resto-Bar.
One of the regular pitstops he made before returning home, Divine was a well-known face at the pub. A single man just trying to get his money and live life, he was one of those quiet guys who just passed by for a drink and left without a fuss. More of a listener to conversations than an initiator of them.
As he took a bigger swig of the bottle before him, he noticed a group of guys in white shirts heartily chatting at the right side of the bar. They looked like a bunch of young corporate dudes having a wind-down session after another busy day in the office. He smirked as he observed them for a moment. Chale, boys boys outings diɛɛ, you no go get ooo. How we need some in our place. Unfortunately, Wayne no get time, wey Elias diɛɛ, anti-so to the bone…
“HEYYYYYYYYYYY! NAFTY, NAFTY!”
Everyone around the bar looked quite taken aback as this group of guys suddenly hollered and cheered. Their attention was on the gentleman who just entered.
As Divine turned to look at him, he squinted.
The round-headed, bespectacled young man at the door shook his head as he made his way to them.
Divine nodded. He knew him! He might not have spoken to him before, but he had seen him around the court. That one time he came to pick up Natalie for a program.
It was Naphtali. Natalie’s fiance.
“Ohhh, nice,” Divine murmured to himself. “Fancy seeing Natalie’s husband-to-be right after the announcement. This world really be small! Hehe!”
His attention then turned to the group of guys, who were congratulating and hailing Naphtali for making things official. With the way they spoke, Divine could see that he was as vocal about his relationship in the workplace as Natalie was in court.
He smirked. These two really deserve each other!
“But chale, Naphtali, the wedding diɛɛ, we dey go all out ooo!” one of his workmates declared.
“I swear down, chale! No be small dettying we go detty wana body! Herrrrhhh!” another echoed.
Naphtali laughed. “I appreciate the enthusiasm, my guys. The wedding diɛɛ, we really for jam! Ibi very necessary!”
“So chale, how you dey plan am?” one other colleague asked.
Naphtali shrugged as he adjusted his glasses. “Ehh, chale, something simple but memorable. I no dey want do something OTT, chale.”
“Really? Coz chale, the way we mean the wedding, no be small something we dey look for ooo!” one of the guys stated.
“Oh, small diɛɛ, e no go be small like that. But chale, something simple. I no dey like anything big like that. Man for take the money some build for the future, you know.”
The guys agreed, seeing his point. “Yeah, that one be true mohm,” one of them remarked. “Life dey after the wedding, wey that one sef e dey hia pass.”
“Exactly. So chale, we go see. But anyways, simple no dey mean sey DJ no go dey. The jamming diɛɛ, we go jam ampa! Heavy jamming ankasa!”
The guys cheered in response.
Whilst they continued to speak of their excitement toward the big day, Divine felt an uncomfortable knot form in his belly.
Simple and memorable. That was not what he and the others had heard from Natalie’s lips earlier that day.
What they heard was ‘grand’ and ‘big’. And those words were total opposites to what he was hearing from Naphtali.
Was it just Naphtali trying to lower expectations for the wedding, or was he actually on a different wavelength from his bride-to-be in terms of the kind of wedding they should have?
Because if it was the latter, this was not good. This could potentially cause a row between them.
Divine looked at them once more, then shrugged and took another gulp. “Eh. I’m sure they’ll work it out. Surely they will.”
Hmmm, a potential conflict in the works for the engaged couple? Let’s see. And by the way, Elias has quite a headache to deal with at home, and Wayne and his wife… amusing and cute, aren’t they?
