“Don’t talk to me.” 

Boris was in the middle of studying for an interview when Lara video called. He picked up and immediately started laughing, which made Lara’s play-anger even sillier.

“What’s the point of calling me just to tell me not to talk to you?”

“Don’t talk to me. You damn near made me cry!” 

“You’re welcome, bitch. Being terrible at receiving compliments doesn’t make you unworthy of them.” 

“Don’t talk to me.” 

Boris shrugged and went back to studying while Lara leered at him. “By the way, how the hell did you get the girls’ videos?” 

Boris looked at her and just stared. Lara raised her hands in confusion, walking right into Boris’ trap.

“Am I meant to speak it to you or telecast it into your head?” 

Lara kissed her teeth long in disgust while Boris laughed in pure satisfaction. “F*ck you.” 

Boris let that roll right off his back and playfully responded, “Ohhh if only you had the ovaries.”

“You, if I decide to f*ck you, can you resist me? With the way that you love me?” 

Boris, still in playful mode, didn’t quite catch the subtle note of seriousness in Lara’s voice. “Girl, get the hell away from me before Mr. Twum decides to start thinking I’m a threat to his love affair.” 

Lara stuck her tongue out at him. “You can’t even answer. Wobɛka nokware.” 

Boris shook his head at her and moved on. “Abi you got smoked last night, so you’re over here making plenty noise. Nonsense gɛrr.” 

“Ah, but who said we did anything last night?” 

“Your whole face. Girl, how is your skin color koo blackie, yet somehow your face can blush? Ei.” 

“Herh, you’re a very foolish boy! We’re supposed to be coming back this coming weekend, but you know your man. He’s going to be away for two months.”

“Couldn’t he take you along?” 

“Nah. He wanted to, but no plus ones allowed.” 

“Well, too bad. In any case, you could just stay in his house or something. It’ll remind you of him when your little girl starts purring in the middle of the night for lack of action.” 

Lara facepalmed and rolled her eyes as Boris damn near choked on his hearty laughter. While he thoroughly enjoyed his joke, Lara started to recall the thoughts of dating him that kept her up most of last night.

She couldn’t fathom the idea, but her boyfriend wasn’t consistent when he was away. She almost fixed her mouth to say something she couldn’t take back, but then she heard footsteps heading towards her door. 

“Clarence is here. Let’s talk later.” She hung up and went to open the door just as Clarence started knocking.

*******

“This spring rolls is kickin! Taadi people know what they’re doing. Whaat! This is some really good spring rolls.”

Lara and Clarence were watching TV while having an early snack of sorts: spring rolls and coke. Clarence was usually against any kind of soft drink except malt, but birthday week was enough of an excuse to let her have her favorites. 

“I normally hate spring rolls, but you’re right. This is lit.” They enjoyed their food as African Family Feud played on the TV. “Well, there goes that American. Why did that girl just say countess, like she doesn’t know he has no idea that she means crown cork?” 

Lara rolled her eyes at him. “Krakye, please English is not our mother tongue wai. Its countess, not crown whatever.”

Clarence looked at her, puzzled, while she continued to eat her food and look straight ahead at the TV. “You better not teach my kids that madness.” 

Still looking at the TV, Lara asked, “which kids?” 

“The ones we’ll have, of course. What did you think I meant?”

Lara muted the TV and turned to face him. “Young man, I’m not having any kids outside of marriage.” 

That threw Clarence off quite a bit. “Whoever made any such suggestion?” 

“I’m just making sure you know.” 

“It’s not my intention to make you an unwed baby mama.” 

“What is your intention? Baby, I have enjoyed every minute of this week together with you. You have been the best boyfriend, the most caring, most attentive, perfect, loving boyfriend. But we’ve been together three years and you’ve not made your plans for me clear. Whenever I bring it up, you pretend as if I never asked. I love you, but I’m not getting any younger; my clock’s ticking. What exactly are your plans for me?”

Clarence leaned in to kiss her but she backed away. “Lara, you know I love you, and I’ve already started to include you in my life. You know my son, you know my family, you know my closest friends, and all of these people know you. There’s no rush for anything. Why are you stressing yourself out with all this wrong questions?”

Lara bowed her head, trying not to get irritated so she could avoid ruining the nice night they were having. “Clarence, half the time, I get to know things you’re doing after you’ve done them. Remember when we went to your mother’s place and she asked in front of me how your project was going? She thought I knew and I acted like I did, but I didn’t even know you were building another house. This upcoming travel you have is the first one you’ve told me about before its happened. Your lack of communication is confusing enough without me having to now try and assume what’s in your head. You’re a man. You can get away with a whole lot when it comes to society and your natural clock. But I can’t.

“Between aunties who think I am ashawo, and the fact that fibroid runs in my family like mad on both sides, I can’t afford to waste any more time. I love you, and I know you love me. Isn’t three years enough to make a decision?”

Clarence took her hands and looked her in the eyes. “Lara, I love you. We’re going to have to pick this up another time. For now, I need you to trust me and give me some time to settle a few things.” 

“How long?” 

“Just give me time. I promise we’ll talk about this again soon.” 

Lara tried to speak up again but Clarence had already turned his attention away from her. She badly wanted to bring him back, but then she figured it would only cause a fight.

She went back to eating her food and unmuted the TV, which they watched in silence.

*************

The ride back home was quiet. The sounds from Hitz FM were nice and bumpy, which provided a good enough distraction for Lara. Clarence was normally quiet when he drove unless she engaged him, so he had no problem staying normal. 

As Lara moved her head to the tunes, she thought of Boris yet again, still playing around with the idea of dating him. She took out her phone and texted him.

“Foolish fool. Will you marry me?” 

It took a couple of minutes, but Boris replied with a confused emoji.

She texted back, “I’m proposing to you. Will you marry me?” 

Boris replied, “Yeah. Where do you want us to do it? Rome, the Maldives, or Holy Trinity Spa church? Kwasia!” Laughing emojis followed his response. 

“Wo na. Duna. Aboa like you. Where kraa did I get you from!” 

Boris replied with rolling laughter emojis, which made Lara chuckle. 

“Your boyfriend is texting you, eh?” 

Clarence felt absolutely no threat from Boris, but Lara wasn’t in the business of going easy on him. “You’re jealous, eh? Don’t worry, he doesn’t get the best parts of me to chop. That’s only you, baby.” She reached over and rubbed his head. 

“Me? Jealous? For where? How can I be jealous while my head is sweeting me like this? Wrong person kraa.”

While Lara teased Clarence, she replayed their conversation from the previous night.

As much as Clarence loved her, he didn’t seem interested in committing. He was an excellent lay, possibly the best she’d ever had, but she needed stability and she needed to start a family. She never wished to become a mother in an older age, yet here she was, heading straight down that path.

She may have felt pampered and loved this weekend, but for the next few months, she’d be on her own. Who was going to pamper her and give her attention then? This fool wasn’t going to be reliably available from the minute he dropped her off, and hating aunties were not the wave for her this new year.

Then she finally saw it. Why not use Boris as all the above? She knew he loved her, whether he’d admit it or not. All she had to do was turn on the charm and he’d melt like chocolate in the hot sun. She needed more than a best friend for the next two months, and she was going to get exactly what she was looking for. 

She could never really love him, but it would be so satisfying to extract a confession out of him, even if her whole purpose was solely to make him admit it and prove her right. That was going to be the play. That was exactly how she would pass the time.

Plus it would be beneficial both ways; Boris was still broken up over how his last girlfriend betrayed him. She could show him a good time and help snap him out of the funk while enjoying the benefits of his care. He wasn’t around, so there was no temptation of anything physical. 

There was nothing wrong in any of this; they would both get something good out of it, and no one could possibly get hurt. What was the worst that could happen?

Seems like Lara’s serious about this. Not that I blame her, though; Clarence clearly isn’t serious about the relationship. Would Boris agree, though?