“Yeah, Counsel. The woman is just unbearable to live with. Just unbearable. So how much is it?… Ei, chale, the 30k be heavy ooo. But yeah, it’s better I cough that up than continue in this hellhole I’m in… oh, Counsel, I’ve done all I can oo. If I tell you how I’ve fought to keep this union together, eh… Mr. Narh, I’m just tired. I can’t continue to kill myself over this… yeah, yeah, so I’ll call you soon and set a date for us to meet… alright, thanks, Mr. Narh. Alright, bye.”

Ferdinand hung up and nodded in satisfaction. The plan to finally end his farce of a union with Princess was now underway. He had just spoken to a lawyer to begin divorce proceedings as quickly as possible. The quote of thirty thousand Ghana cedis might have been an unexpected amount, but as he had already mentioned, it was worth getting out of the marriage.

Even if I have to pay five hundred thousand cedis, I’ll do it, he thought to himself as he leaned back in his chair. It was such a relief to have kicked her out of the house. He sure was enjoying a sweet vibe of freedom and joy whenever he came home.

What was the plan once the divorce was complete, though? He wasn’t too sure at that moment. He didn’t feel like marriage suited him and Kirania, and he was quite sure she’d feel the same way.

He shrugged as he turned back to his computer screen. Chale, let’s just cross this bridge. When we get to that one, we’ll know how to cross it…

His phone’s ringtone started up.

Ferdinand looked at the phone screen and smirked.

Who else but Kirania?

“Hehehe, my favourite woman in all the world,” he chuckled to himself as he picked up the phone. “The sweetest nasty girl this entire solar system has to offer.”

He answered in a low, husky voice, “Hey, sexy. What’s up? Still slaying for your Daddyyyy?”

What followed next was silence.

Two seconds of silence.

Three seconds of silence.

Four seconds of silence.

Five seconds of silence.

Ferdinand frowned. It wasn’t like Kirania to not respond immediately to that saucy greeting.

Or is the network misbehaving?

A moment later, his question was answered in the negative, as he heard what sounded like some snickering in the background.

Before he could wonder what was going on, he heard a voice speak.

“Hwɛ ni kwasia bi! He say what? ‘Hey, sexy?’ Idiot!”

“I shock sef. Foolish man.”

“Ofui papa paa, herh!”

If Ferdinand had been slightly concerned at the silence, the voices of three strange men insulting him definitely had his alarm bells ringing.

“Ah! Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what’s going on?” he stuttered nervously. “Who is this? And what are you doing with… with my lady’s number?”

“See the stupid question he dey ask me. Jonky nigga!” the first voice spat at him. “What am I doing sɛ sen? Wo gyimi bi!”

Ferdinand’s eyes narrowed. The nerve of this bastard!

“Hey! Look here, Mister Man, I don’t know who you are, but you better tell me what you’re doing with my girlfriend’s phone, and you better start talking right now!”

“See am. He dey want do hard tins. Fool! Listen, your woman dey wana there. We kidnap am. Plain and simple. Wey if you dey want make we release am, you for do then send some money.”

Now the alarm bells were in overdrive.

Kidnappers had been causing quite some havoc in the city for a while, so this was absolutely frightening to hear.

“Please, please, Mr. Man, I beg you, don’t hurt her,” Ferdinand pleaded, realizing he was speaking to an abductor and matching his aggression was not a wise idea. “Please, boss, I beg, don’t hurt her. She means everything to me…”

“Now you dey come behave, eh? Sia like that! Listen, if you go like see am again, go take money come. 150,000 Ghana cedis. In cash.”

Ferdinand’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “WHATT!”

“Ibi what too you go talk. Kwasia! You figure sey we dey joke, eh. Massa, if you really dey love your woman, you go reason up then take the money come. This very gbeke.”

“What??!! B-b-b-ut… but where… where am I…”

“You diɛɛ, continue dey do ‘where where’ then no go search the money come claim your woman. You go dey there naa, ein right leg go appear for your gate ein front. Continue dey fool, wai…”

“Boss, please, I beg. You… I’ll bring it. I’ll go search for the money and bring it. Please. Just don’t hurt my Kirania. I beg you.”

“Now you dey talk like nigga he get functional brain. Now listen, I dey warn you, we get intelligence wey dey watch you. If you no know, wey you go call police sey make them accompany you, eh, you go come meet your Kiana or Kirani ein bloody corpse for the front of your gate. You dey hear?”

Ferdinand trembled at that warning. He had been contemplating the idea of informing a police friend of his, so they could apprehend them at their hideout. The tone of this man, however, made him reconsider. “Y-y-yes, sir. Yessir. No police. No police.”

“Better. Like you go regret. So listen carefully to what you will do. You will go and get the money right now, then come to Rista Towers ein underground car park at 7:30 pm. You will call this number at exactly 7pm to confirm that you’ve gotten the money and that you are on your way to the car park side. You dey hear?”

Ferdinand nodded, shaking with fear. This was just so overwhelming. When he left the house that day, it felt like everything was coming into place for him. He had felt so confident that things were about to take off for him. Where in the world did this unfortunate occurrence come from?

“I SAY YOU DEY HEAR WHAT I DEY TALK!”

“YES, YES! Y-y-y-yes, yes. Yes Sir,” Ferdinand stuttered, frightened by the kidnapper’s yell.

“And remember. No police. No excuses. If you want see your woman safe and sound, comply with every fucking thing I just talk. You dey hear?”

“Y-y-yes, yes. No problem. Please, I’ll do it. I’ll do everything you say.”

“Kwasia.”

The line went dead.

Ferdinand looked at the phone in unbelief, his heart slamming against his chest.

What the absolute fuck, man!

Yep, it’s well and truly on! Ferdinand has no idea what’s going on…