Well, it’s been quite a journey with this playa. His hit-and-run agenda ran into a pretty nasty brick wall, and now he’s having to deal with it. Let’s see how this ends…

It was 10:58am on a Friday morning.

Damien sighed as the Land Cruiser made a familiar right turn at the Juaso junction off the Accra Kumasi road. He had quietly sat in the back seat throughout the journey, staring at the lovely green scenery as they drove by.

How he enjoyed watching those scenes; they were such a refreshing sight to him! But this time around, he could barely appreciate what his eyes beheld. He was too busy dreading what was ahead of him.

A week had passed since the ugly beatdown and his forced decision to ask for Lily’s hand in marriage. The number of times he had decided to pull out and damn the consequences were numerous, yet, the memories of those horrible punches from Nico Blaze made him think twice. And throughout that week, the motorcycle riders were out, now simply making him aware that indeed, the streets were watching.

As for his mother, she was still very much unimpressed by her boy’s antics, and didn’t fail to make his ears catch that at least every other day. With regard to his decision to ‘marry’ Lily, she reluctantly agreed after a while, thinking it was better he just legitimize his misbehaviour.

“You thought it’s only about entering the hole and satisfying yourself, eh? I just hope this will teach you that you can’t dishonour a woman and get away with it. It’s your kind that will be sleeping with these girls after deceiving them, then turn around to condemn them for not being virgins when they marry! Mtcheww!”

Madam Doris’ disgust, however, was miniscule compared to that of Maa Aggie and Lily’s father, who made their displeasure at him very known to Madam Doris when she spoke to them earlier that week.

Maa Aggie in particular was quite outraged that the fine, young man she had joked about hooking up with Lily was secretly doing all those naughty things with her, when he could have just made his desires known to her, and she’d use every persuasion power in her bone to get the family to endorse the union.

Damien looked at his mother through the mirror. She had that stony look on her face. The same expression she had been carrying all week when dealing with him.

She was in the front seat with an uncle of his, Uncle Hugh, who was a dedicated deacon in his church. Being a man of God who always impressed on the youth to live a righteous life, one could only imagine the level of rollicking Damien had received from this uncle.

He looked at the envelope and the polythene bag filled with drinks on the other side of the back seat, and continued to feel the pits of dread and regret in his belly as the journey went on.

For f**k’s sake, this isn’t how it was supposed to be…

***

“See, Wofa, Maame, as for me, the thing that pains me the most in all of this, eh… me naa, I was pushing for the proper thing to happen. When your son came here, I saw a good, decent young man, a very likeable man. Me, I thought he’d be a good guy for my daughter. Only for me to hear that all the times she was supposed to be going for classes, she was going to have sex with him! I mean, why wouldn’t you just tell me you liked each other?”

Damien sat in between his mother and uncle as Maa Aggie vented her spleen at the meeting. Lily stood behind her parents and a few uncles, looking just as embarrassed.

Half an hour in, and both sets of elders wasted little time bemoaning the state of the youth and their blatant disregard of the sanctity of sex. Lily’s father confirmed that his wife had trumpeted Damien as a possible suitor for their daughter and that he was majorly displeased to know that the boy had disrespected the family with his actions.

On the other side, Madam Doris and Uncle Hugh had apologized profusely and made their disdain for his horrendous actions well known to the Amponsahs.

This was everything Damien had wanted to avoid.

“Hmm, Maame Aggie, as we have mentioned, we can only apologize for our son’s behaviour. As already stated, we were not happy to hear the confession he had for us, and we’ve spoken strongly to him about all he did. To his credit, he seems to have realized the folly of all he has done, and is ready to make amends. So at this point, I’ll let him speak to you before we move on to the purpose for this meeting. Damien, speak to them,” Uncle Hugh said before prodding him and signaling him to rise to his feet.

Damien stood up, looking at the faces before him. Nana Kwame Amponsah, the head of family, Wofa James and Wofa Fred, Benson and Agnes, and their daughter, Lily.

Good Lord, I can’t believe I’m gonna do this! I just can’t! Ahhh! Chale, this thing dey pain me f**king…

He took a deep breath. “Um, respectfully, dearest Elders, I want to apologize for what happened between your daughter and I. It was wrong of me to chase her and sleep with her when I had not done the right thing and sought your permission, especially when Maa Aggie made it clear that she’d be more than happy to have me as a son-in-law. I realize it was extremely disrespectful of me, and all I can say is that I’m very, very sorry. I also want to apologize to Lily for the way I treated her afterwards, it was extremely wrong of me, and… I have no excuses.

“Umm, in light of how I promised her so much and ended up disappointing her so badly, I want to make amends and rectify everything that I’ve done. So, uh, I humbly ask that you forgive me of my wrongdoing, and that you’ll accept what I have brought.”

***

About an hour had passed, and Damien stood outside by the car, deep in thought as he held a paper in his hand.

After his apology, Uncle Hugh made known to the Amponsah family the decision Damien had made to ask for Lily’s hand in marriage. After handing them the required items, which they accepted with pleasure and relief, it was quickly agreed that a few items be brought and a very private traditional ceremony be conducted the next month. Lily would then follow Damien to Accra to live with him as his wife.

The head of family said he was impressed with Damien’s show of determination to make things right, and thus promised he’d help him secure a job before the day arrived. Naturally, he wouldn’t have wanted Lily to be joined to a young man just starting out with life, but to him, the desire to make things right was admirable, so he was more than happy to help out.

Damien looked at the paper and sighed. It was the list of items he needed to obtain for the ceremony.

He was still as frustrated as could be. This wasn’t how he had planned his life post-Donkorkrom. This just was not it…

“Yo!”

Damien turned, and upon seeing the one who called him, his heart jumped into his throat.

It was Nico Blaze, walking alongside Lily.

Oh, how that sight triggered PTSD flashbacks!

The two walked over to him. Nico slapped him on the arm while Lily stood back, giving him a smile that made him slightly uneasy.

“So my guy, make we go straight to the point. I go be nice guy this time round then give you the good part of my promise. You naa, you see the nasty side of me, so I for play nice this time.

“So see, this be the matter: as you dey take this my lil sis go Accra, if I contact am, wey I hear sey you dey treat am well, you no dey cheat on am, all that s**t, make I promise you this. Those streets of Accra go be safe pass give you. The streets naa go protect you. If you like sef, walk around town at 3 am holding GHc 10,000, you be safe. Na if any kwashey boy take your anything, I dey promise you this: within 3 days, my niggas go take the julor come your house make he huu abeg then return the thing he bost. Wey if he cut you slight one mpo, my guy, by the time we go take am come the house, no be small lashing we go lash am.”

Still trembling, Damien nodded as he inwardly marvelled at the promise Nico Blaze made. He honestly had no reason to doubt it, they were well and truly capable of fulfilling such a promise.

“But… if you do the opposite. Wey I hear…”

Nico Blaze smiled wickedly.

Damien understood perfectly. Having already faced the wrath of this shatta, he knew Nico did not have to say anything more.

“Oh yeah, and one more thing: remember sey the streets still dey watch you. So chale, as you dey go back go prepare the nibbies, make sure sey you go behave then do everything them say make you do. No funny s**t. None at all. Understood?”

Damien nodded slowly.

“Good. So chale, all the best. I dey go my tailor ein there make he sew some nice kaftan give me. See you at the ceremony next month!” Nico proudly proclaimed and lightly punched him on the shoulder, then walked away.

As he attempted to fully imbibe the weight of all he had just heard, Lily then moved to him and threw her arms around him in an embrace. “Damiennnn!” she murmured. “I’ve missed you so much, eh.”

Damien barely moved.

“You know what I’ve missed the most, though? That sweet, sweet anaconda of yours…” she continued, reaching down to touch it.

Damien immediately flinched, pushed her hand away, and jumped back, giving her the hardest glare he could muster. The last thing on his mind was sex at that moment.

Lily simply smirked, and moved close to him, unperturbed by his reaction. “Ei, you’ve forgotten all the things we did already anaa? Me di33, I haven’t oo. That your hot doggy, eh. The way it could enter my neck, eh, herh, stop! The way you play with my breasts too is another one. And when I’m on top and I’m jumping on that d**k… oh God, the sweetness dey kill me! Honestly, nothing’s sweeter than having good sex with you, baby. Please, after the ceremony is done and we land in Accra, I beg, can I collect one extra hot round for old times’ sake?”

Before Damien could fiercely express his disgust at her, she continued. “Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sorry ooo, I think I didn’t say it well. What I meant was, when we go to Accra, you better give me that doggy. Unless you want a special call from Nico.”

Damien looked at her in disbelief. “Ah. Herh! Ar-are you… are you threatening me?”

“Threaten you? Oh, no, no, no. I’m not threatening you at all, my dear. I’m just reminding you of your duty to make me happy, and the consequences for failing to do so. And I’m telling you that what would make me happy when we get to Accra is for you to give me some hot backshots straight away, and that there’s a price for not doing that. That’s all. And it’s not like you’ve forgotten or anything, you still know how to handle this my big ass. And in case you actually have forgotten, no worries. That video is there, you can check it. Or you can ask those useless friends to remind you what they saw. That’s not a problem at all, is it?”

Damien looked extremely peeved, yet extremely locked.

Yep, he was well and truly stuck. This girl had not forgiven him for that, and was getting her revenge in her own little way. The disgust in her voice at the end of that made it crystal clear.

“So please, Mister Damien, keep this in the back of your mind. Your job as my husband when we get there is to make me happy. So you will do that, okay? Whether it’s buying me pizza, or massaging my feet, or giving me that world-class doggy you’re so perfect at, you will do it. And if you fail me for whatever reason, especially with the last one, don’t be shocked when Nico and his boys will pay you a nice visit. So don’t you dare mess up, understood?”

Rage filled his heart as he glared at her.

She patted his cheeks as he failed to respond. “Good, so we’re on the same level. And that’s why I love you so much, honey. Now, lemme go and see my parents quickly. I’ll be back in a moment, okay?”

Without waiting for a response, she winked at him, blew him a kiss and walked back to the house.

Damien simply stood beside the car, resisting the urge to descend into tantrum mode.

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place! He absolutely loathed the idea of having to go home with Lily and spend the rest of his life with her, and her clearly manipulative stance was irking him the more. He didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that she was going to milk her cousin’s warning to him and use him like a toy for all it was worth.

This was the entrance to hell for him. No doubt.

But then, who was he kidding? There are different levels of hell, and truthfully speaking, this was a soft level.

There were other levels, such as spending the rest of his life in a wheelchair, or in a vegetative state. Which would definitely happen if he tried to free himself from this farcical shackle of a marriage. There really was nothing he could do. He was totally bound by his word, and any attempt to back out would be extremely deadly. He knew the streets would be watching, and any slip-up would bring consequences even worse than what he had already experienced at their hands.

He took a deep breath and patted himself on the chest. “Just try and make the best out of this, Damien McCarthy,” he whispered to himself. “That’s all you can do at this point. Just… try and think about the positives. I’m getting a good job because of this. Nico’s shattas will protect me once I stay in line. Despite the fact sey she dey bore me, Lily ein body still be banger…”

He sighed deeply, and in spite of the tear in his eye and the heavy feeling in his chest, forced a smile. “Yeah, that’s it, chale. Just try and make the most out of it.”

THE END

And that’s it! So Damien’s game ended pretty badly for him, didn’t it? This playa ‘met his meeter’ with Lily’s cousin and his shatta squad. I don’t think he’ll be encouraging dudes to hit and run. Not that that foolishness is anything to be proud of, anyways…

Thanks for reading, and as always, enjoy yourself around the State!