Welcome, dear reader!

Your favourite Kay Parker is back with another one! At this point, you know what to expect from him, right? A whole lot of wildness! So buckle up, because this will be another special of his. Are you ready? Of course you are. Let’s go!

“Bitch, what? Are you for real right now?” 

Boris Kpeglo was on the phone with his best friend, and making it everyone else’s problem. Study group wasn’t the best setting for a crisis convo, but the other two guys in the group knew the person on the other end and didn’t mind. Also, the study group was meeting at Boris’ apartment, so he had a bit of leeway. 

“You left him?” 

That got the attention of Elvis, which immediately drew looks of contempt from both Boris and Madaro, the other guy. Boris excused himself and went into his bedroom.

“Can you believe this guy? He came by last Monday and we spent the day together. He was supposed to call me when he got home, and I never heard from him. So I called, no response. I sent him a text, no reply. Then today, he calls and asks where I’ve been, like he didn’t see my missed calls and texts. When I mentioned it too, he rather got angry and said I’m doing too much. What the hell kind of madness is that!”

Boris listened as Lara went on and on about this man’s latest misdeed. Her boyfriend, Clarence, was a wonderful guy, a great human to hang with, a wise counsel, and the most unflappable being she’d met…

…as long as he was around.

He seemed to enter into a whole other world whenever they weren’t together, which left her feeling neglected more often than not. It helped that Boris, her best friend of twelve years, was there to fill the gap, but it still wasn’t quite the same.

“Waa look, he’s now calling me. Nonsense man like that! I don’t even love him anymore.” 

Lara may have said the words, but Boris knew better. “Yes you do, bitch. Now call me after you finish talking with him.” 

“Ah, so you too you’re leaving me? Ei! You’re supposed to be my best friend oo. Yoo. By the way, you better not do anything crazy tomorrow. Whatever your plans are, you better behave yourself.” 

Boris protested his innocence as best as he could, but Lara knew better. “If you go and post anything on Facebook, what I will do to you, eh!” 

“Look, I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to do. All I know is, its dirty season, and dirty thirty is here! I am so hype for you. By the way, call your boyfriend back before you start getting paranoid for no reason over plans I haven’t even made.” 

“Yoo. Just remember: I’m watching you.”

Boris managed to get back to the study group, only to realize they’d pretty much completed the topic for the day.

“So you boys couldn’t wait for me to come back before you finish? Chale, eigenvectors no dey ground oo, you could’ve waited for me before you explained it to yourselves.” 

Madaro looked him up and down before firing back, “Guy, you were doing best friend tins for a whole hour, who did you want to wait for that long? Oh, by the way, does she know the mafia you have in store for her morrow?” 

That piqued Elvis’ interest. “Wey mafia?” 

Boris sat in his armchair. “Birthday shenanigans, chale. She won’t know what hit her.”

*****

Lara lay in her bed in the darkest hours of the night, awake and deep in thought. 

The 32 year-old damsel hadn’t quite had the life she’d wanted. She’d graduated from university, but the only thing worse than being a graduate in Ghana was being a woman on a job hunt in Ghana.

She’d made it into the final rounds of a number of interviews, but the brick wall that was some hiring manager who wanted to partake of the peach that was her ass was one she could never surmount. Even when she did her national service, she’d had to endure the sneers and stares of hatred from other women on account of her body, which was a pervert’s wet dream. 

She never blamed them though; it was a world of lustful men, and one way to climb the ladder was to indulge the bosses who played by those rules. Rather than play that game, she chose the path of honest work, which had led to her moving back into her granduncle’s house with three aunties who assumed she was promiscuous and secretly hated her. It didn’t help that she had neither money nor a clear path to independence.

Basically, she was a pretty young woman who was hanging on to the decent path by a thread, and she needed to find a way to make the money to fund the tasteful, classy life she desired.

What she did have going for her was that she had her boyfriend, Clarence, and her best friend, Boris. She’d met Clarence during her national service, nine months after the heartbreaking end to her seven-year relationship with a man she was just about to start marriage counselling with. After a sex binge which took her to Takoradi, she finally met a burly, brilliant man whose standing in Eon Oil was significant enough to ensure a comfortable life for her. He was everything she wanted, with the exception of his ability to resist her manipulation. 

As much as that turned her on, it infuriated her. How was she to have her way if she couldn’t control the man she wanted to give her said way!

She’d met Boris in senior high, even though they lived about a minute away from each other for years. He was the shy guy who acted dee bee’ish, and she was the hard girl whose mother sold waakye in a dee-bee area.

She’d mocked his proper ways at first, but time proved him to be a worthy confidante who genuinely cared about her, even when she’d pushed him away to make room for boyfriends who broke her heart. He’d become the keeper of her secrets and pretty much everything else. 

But he’d been acting a little too loving in the last three years, like he wanted to be with her but he didn’t want it to look that way. She’d ignored him at first, then indirectly hinted that she saw him as a brother, but none of these seemed to have any effect. Of course, he’d deny any ideas that he fancied her, but she saw it in his actions whether he knew it or not. 

Was there a reason why she couldn’t be with him? After all, through eight different boyfriends, he’d been steady as a rock. Plus he was pretty much playing the role already without enjoying any of the benefits. Could she find it in her to see him differently?

She looked at her phone and saw that it was midnight. She got on her knees and thanked God for getting her this far, even if she wasn’t where she’d wanted to be. Then she turned her phone off. This was one birthday where she’d wanted the privilege of waking up to texts rather than going to sleep reading them. 

She turned the phone back on quickly just to send Boris a text, “Don’t do anything crazy!” Then she turned it off and went to sleep.

*****

Boris chuckled as he looked at the results of weeks of planning. A few more keystrokes, and his surprise was ready to be deployed. 

He sent a quick text to Asiedu, Lara’s ex who broke her heart yet somehow managed to stay in her circle of friends. “Guy, thanks so much for your help with the girls.” 

Asiedu responded a few seconds later, “Chale, you’re welcome. Can’t wait to see how it came out. The girls are so excited to see it too.” 

“Just a few hours more, man. I’m sure they’ll find out in a hurry. Goodnight, man.” 

With that, Boris sent Lara her surprise, and went to sleep in absolute glee, knowing what was coming later that day.

Mmmm, quite a start here. Looks like we’ve got a bit of a love triangle here. Let’s see how it goes…