“Oh, for f**k’s sake! Seriously?”
Becky Owusu-Bempong was not having the greatest of Monday mornings.
Having overslept by thirty minutes, she rushed through her usual schedule, trying her best to beat the time. Obviously, she had not been successful, and left the house twenty minutes later than she usually did, which meant she ended up in the traffic she usually tried to avoid when she left at her usual time.
Just as she had made her way out of the traffic and was about to hit the Accra-Tema motorway, she got a notification on her dashboard.
The back tyre of her Honda Civic was going flat at an alarming rate.
By the time she parked the car, the back tyre was totally flat.
This was not what she had expected at all. Stuck by the side of the road with a busted tyre. It was taking a lot of willpower in her to keep from turning into a screaming bundle of expletives.
“You have got to be kidding me! You have got to be kidding me!” she muttered under hear breath, immediately moving to open the boot of the car. “A flat tyre on a Monday morning. This has to be a joke. An absolute f**king joke, man.”
As a fixed assets accountant at the biggest telecommunications company in the nation, it was imperative that she be at the office early enough. Her immediate supervisor would not be pleased about this at all.
Shuffling through the items in the boot, she continued grumbling to herself as she sought for the tools needed to change the tyre. “The worst part is, I don’t even know to start the damn thing. Good Lord, this Monday could not have started on the worst note!”
Once she found the jack and the lug wrench and brought them out, she walked over to the flat tyre and looked at it. She then looked at herself, elegantly dressed in her neat black suit and groaned out loud. “Oh Lord, this is such a draaaaggggggg! Ugh! I don’t even know what the hell I’m about to do.”
She then looked at the tyre, the lug wrench in her hand, then shrugged. “Ugh, what choice do I have? I sure as hell can’t leave this car by the roadside like that. Only God knows what kinda ransacking will take place…”
“Um, excuse me, ma’am, do you need some help?”
She looked up, and saw the owner of that voice. It was a gentleman walking towards her. Clearly, he had seen the little misfortune the lovely lady had fallen into and wanted to help out.
It took an ounce of self-control to keep the word ‘Ooooooh’ from tumbling out of her mouth.
She hadn’t thought to pray for an angel to help her out, but it looked like the Lord had dropped one her way. And goodness, what a sight he was!
Tall. Bald. Fully bearded. Light-skinned. Sharp-looking eyes. Dressed in a crisp blue shirt and black trousers and smooth black loafers.
What a sight!
“Uh, yes, yes, please,” Becky answered, her usually husky voice suddenly taking on a higher pitch as he approached her. He reached out his hand for the tools she was carrying, and she willingly handed them to him.
“Must be so annoying to experience this sort of misfortune on a Monday morning,” he commented as he crouched, ready to get to work. “Real sorry- wait, there are no chocks ooo. Can you please get me some stones to put behind the tyres?”
For the next couple of minutes, Becky silently went about everything this kind, cute Samaritan asked her to do, as he successfully managed to loosen her flat tyre, before taking the spare one out of her boot and fixing it on. She silently watched on, taking mental notes of everything he was doing, lest something of a similar nature happen in a place where no angel would be available.
As he tightened the last of the bolts on the new tyre, he froze for a second, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. A pretty slick iPhone 14.
He answered. “Yeah, hello… oh shoot! Chale, I beg, I dey come, eh. Gimme a few minutes, I dey come right now. Chale, sorry, sorry, I dey beg.”
Ending the call quickly, he glanced at Becky. “Miss, I have to rush now. Lemme just… tighten this one…”
As he tightened the last bolt on the tyre, he nodded and gave her a quick salute while moving away. “Sorry, Miss, I need to get to the mall quickly. Someone’s seriously waiting for me. You’re welcome, by the way!”
“But wait! I didn’t get your name, sir!” Becky called as he moved further and further away from her.
He called out something, but he was so far away at that point, she couldn’t hear.
“What?” she called out again.
At that point, he was running toward the mall, barely hearing anything else she said.
She sighed. Whatever he had to attend to, it must have been pretty urgent.
Well, at least he had helped her out, that was the most important thing. She might not have gotten his name, but hey, she had had her tyre fixed. Now she could move as quickly as she could; she was already late enough as it was.
She shrugged and walked back to the driver’s seat. “I just hope nothing else pops up on the way now. It’s been tough enough, chale.”
***
Thirty minutes later, she stood before her superior, who didn’t look very happy. There had been quite a volume of work that she had wanted Becky and her departmental colleagues to clear off the table before midday. The lateness of Becky, however, had hindered those plans.
Inasmuch as she was displeased, though, she knew Becky was not the type to be running late every single day. And having heard the story of her flat tyre, she couldn’t help but sympathize with her subordinate. She was still slightly miffed that Ms. Owusu-Bempong was late, but well… it wasn’t as if she burst her own tyre or anything.
As the superior pardoned her and let her move to her office, Becky breathed a sigh of relief. And this is the reason why it’s good to maintain a culture of punctuality, she congratulated herself as she walked to her space. Coz Lord knows Sheila would not have taken it lightly if I was tardy on the regular.
Arriving at her desk, she quickly settled in, called her colleagues, and dove straight into the assignment for the day.
An hour later, and Becky had done so much typing and checking of figures under intense pressure, she was already exhausted for the entire week.
Slumped in her chair, she groaned to herself, “Ugh! Adulthood sucks! How am I this exhausted on a Monday morning? Ugh, f**k’s sake!”
Shaking her head, her mind ran through the list of things she could do to ease this early stress. Now that the job was over, she could take a tiny break.
Umm… MsMojo videos?… Or should I- oh wait, lemme call Asor! That girl will brighten my morning!
She enthusiastically grabbed her phone, searched for the said number, and dialled.
Two beeps in, and the call was answered. “Hey baby girl! Hi, baby girl!”
Becky couldn’t help but laugh. Nana Asor’s greeting was clearly an imitation of the video of that cute little girl copying her mother. “Asor, you’re still ogling over that little girl, eh?”
“Like crazy, Becky! Like, isn’t she’s so adorable with the ‘hi baby girl’ thing? She’s such a cutieeeeee! Oh Lord, my ovaries are tingling just thinking about it!”
Becky laughed even louder. Yep, ten seconds in, and her best friend from childhood was already lifting her spirits. “Oh, Lord. Girl, you have no idea how much I needed that. Honestly. Coz the morning I’ve had, eh…”
“Awwww, why? What happened?”
“Hmmmm. First off, I overslept. You know as for me, if I’m late kraaa, by 6 am, I’m up and getting ready. Asor, I got up at 6:37 am!”
“Oh chale!”
“Hmmm. So you can imagine, I now had to rush up and down, doing my best to make it out of the house quickly enough. Unfortunately, since I left after 7 am, your girl got caught up in that traffic. Another twenty minutes gone, but I made it through and I thought ‘at least I can hit the motorway and get there fast’. But guess what: as soon as I’m about to hit the motorway, my car’s back tyre goes flat.”
“Herh!”
“Chale, Asor, I was hottttt! Me that I dunno how to maneuver my way around these things. See me, getting all hot and sweaty over what to do… then all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, this fine ass man pops up and helps out with the tyre…”
“Ooooooh!” her friend swooned over the phone. “He was fine, eh?”
“Roff! Sakora man with proper beard and sharp dressing. He was fiiinnnneeeee!”
“Eiiisshhhhh! A complete spec. Oh la laaa! So what happened? Did you give him your number or something?”
Becky sighed. “Sadly, he had to rush somewhere right after. I asked for his name sef, he didn’t say it well for me to hear. So I just had to rush to the office, and the work I’ve done in this one hour alone… girl, I need the rest of the week off.”
“Oh chale! Yawa ooo. From lateness to flat tyres to missing the number of a sexy man who will complement your juicy self… nahhhh, this ain’t cool.”
Becky smirked and shook her head. Nana Asor, along with the others in the group, never failed to comment on her slightly voluptuous curves every other chance they got. “Babe, it’s been crazy. I’m already exhausted for Tuesday to Friday. Ebei!”
“Hmmm, chale. It’s not easy oo, baby girl. It definitely isn’t easy. But you too, you know it’s your fault, right? Abi I warned you about that cocktail yesterday. Eh, Becky, I told you not to take it. I warned you that it might knock you out small. But noooo, you said you didn’t come to this life to kill yourself, and I shouldn’t come and sit on your happiness. Ɛne wo nɛ. Hmmm, Metallica, when I talk, listen ooo.”
Becky went silent, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. It just wouldn’t be Nana Asor if she didn’t play the scolding mother role, as well as make that stupid reference to her braces. “Woman, I called you for sympathy, not for scolding. And definitely not to hear that dumbass troll name of yours.”
“I know, but who else will do it but me? Besides, any chance to call you Metallica is a chance I won’t miss.”
“F**k you, Asor.”
“No thanks. Bruce already does it, and does it well.”
Becky shook her head as Asor cackled triumphantly over the phone. “I should totally hate your annoying ass by now. Yet I can’t. Ugh, I just dunno why…”
“Coz you love me too much, silly. Annnnnd you’re gonna be having my babies.”
“Oh yeahhhh, almost forgot that. I’m definitely gonna be carrying your babies. No doubt about that.”
“Thank you. So, tell me, the guy that helped out, you said he’s bald with correct beard, right?”
“Sharp! You can even see that he got the beard trimmed during the weekend, it was that fresh.”
“Ooooh la la! That’s that type, right? The type that just makes you wanna off pant and-“
“Babe, babe, babe. Please. I beg you. Please. It’s okay. End it here, wai. Don’t go any further. I beg.”
***
“But chale, the Muslim lady really dey bee me oo, I no go lie you.”
“Hmm, Jerry. The way you dey like women diɛɛ, I never see some before.”
“Ah, but I dey lie? This one dey bee pass, chale!”
“Well, inobi lie mohm…”
Giving the two whispering gentlemen seated across the room a quick peer from behind her desktop, Delasi Fugah smirked and shook her head.
An employee of the National Labour Commission, she had seen them frequent the commission for a while now, as they had filed a complaint against their former employers for unfair termination. The few times they had come around, they seemed to have an eye for Nyla, one of her senior colleagues in the office, and it was hilarious to hear them gush about her beauty.
Not that I blame them, though, Delasi thought to herself. Indeed, the bespectacled, scarf-toting lady was gorgeous, and Delasi herself had complimented her a few times, which she graciously accepted.
The smirk still plastered on her face, she opened her WhatsApp tab on her Google Chrome, and noted the ‘ST V.O.P. annex’ group chat at the top of the chats.
A separate group chat for Voices Of Peace, the choir for Shalom Temple, where Delasi worshipped. Some of the younger members formed that group and regularly had their chats there.
There was a voice note from Irene Ocquaye, one of the youngest members of the choir. The only Gen Z girl among a group comprising mainly of millennials, she was one of the more popular choristers in the church. A twenty-something year old young lady, she was ridiculously cute and adorable, and was often doted upon by the head pastor of the church, Bishop Gordon Godwin Eselali Tamakloe.
“Eish, what info does our Jamestown cutie have for us?” Delasi wondered aloud as she opened the chat. “Is it about her boyfriend?”
Preceding the voice note was the following message…
So guys, I called it quits with my new boyfriend.
“Oh!” Delasi gasped quietly. It was indeed about her boyfriend, just not the kinda news they were expecting.
But… it was only just about a month ago that she had announced to them that she was dating a new guy, and she had seemed pretty excited, even introducing him to Bishop Gordon the previous Sunday. What happened?
“Well, I guess that’s what the voice note is for,” she murmured to herself, plugging in her earphones before hitting the play button.
The voice note started.
“Yeah, so… after he came to church and all, I was speaking to Bishop Gordon and the way he was talking about Philip… hmmm, it was someway bi. He didn’t say anything in particular, but he kept asking how well I know him and all that. I kept saying we’re getting to know each other, and he said I should study him further and see. That I should check out his social media and all that. And to be honest, the way he said it, it had me apprehensive. Because Philip too never really let me follow him on Twitter or IG, so then… I started wondering.
So I got his Twitter account and I decided to go through his timeline. And guys… hmmm, it was nasty. The kind of misogynistic things he was saying on there! And when I say misogynistic, I mean misogynistic! He’s one of those guys who strongly believes a man’s wife is not his family, and that it’s not normal for a man to not cheat on his partner. Guys! That was his mindset ooo! And he was engaging in serious arguments with people who were calling him out. Can you imagine someone pointed out what the Bible says about marriage, and he said the Bible cannot be applied to modern day settings?!
So yeah, I confronted him about all that, and he was telling me that ehhh, it’s just Twitter, it’s not that deep, ɛna I shouldn’t use his tweets to define who he is. And I said no, please, you can’t be saying all these nasty things and expect me to believe that you’ll be a loving husband in the future. So yeah, it’s over. I broke up with him. The way he’s angry with me, saying we Gen Z girls, we take the wrong things seriously and whatnot. But please, I don’t care. I can’t move with a guy like that. This life, I can’t be dealing with people with weird mindsets. That Dina girl was enough to deal with.
The voice note complete, Delasi leaned back in her seat, her brow furrowed.
Yeah, indeed, the guy definitely had questionable and unacceptable beliefs, and covering it up with that lame old excuse of ‘it’s just Twitter’ was not to be embraced in any way. With what she had just told them, breaking up with that guy was the right thing to do.
But… the mention of that last name…
A series of messages from Lovia, one of the group administrators, followed.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 at the Dina part. Yieee, that girl was one heck of a strange one
But yeah, good move, baby girl. That’s clearly not a correct guy
Another member of the group, Steven, quoted Lovia’s first message and replied: I tell you. Extremist papa paa! Self-appointed heaven gate bouncer
Delasi shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
The girl they were talking about had been a member of Shalom Temple for a while, but left later after alienating herself from many of the church members with very radical religious ideologies and her unapologetic brashness in making them known. For a while, she and Delasi were pretty close and moved together, despite her growing unpopularity with others in the church. She even visited the Fugah residence on one particular day, just to meet Delasi’s family.
And it was that day that triggered so many memories.
Very unpleasant memories.
The friendship grew slowly but exceedingly tense after that day, and came to an obvious end once Dina left the church altogether, to the relief of all in Shalom Temple.
That phase of her life might have ended. But the repercussions of that fateful visit still existed.
And it was not comfortable to deal with. At all.
I wonder what happened with Delasi’s friend that seems to have left scars. And for Becky, she’s sure lucky she got a good Samaritan to help out…
