“Make way, make way! We’ve got Africa’s biggest pizza coming through!” Bruce announced as he entered Clarence’s apartment, carrying the long Pizza Hut Big Boss box into the room.
Clarence, who had opened the door, stood back and grinned widely. Saturday evening had arrived, and as expected, the squad had turned up for the official celebration. The PlayStation 4 was ready and set up in the living room. The dining table was neatly arranged, with seven chairs around it. All was set for a good night with the squad.
Nana Asor followed, carrying two bags of Papaye food. She gave Clarence a hug. “Good to see you, Clay,” she remarked, patting him on the back before following her husband to the dining room where he had placed the pizza box on the table.
Delasi followed a few seconds later, holding some more Papaye bags. “Oh, Ganyobi!” she greeted, communicating with him in their dialect as always. “Hope you’re doing good.”
“By grace ooo,” Clarence responded.
A couple of seconds later, and Deladem and Olivia came through. “Ahhh, man like Clay!” the tall one chanted as he embraced Clarence, with Olivia doing same.
As they went to take their places in the living room, Clarence wondered aloud, “Ah, but where Becky-” before stopping, and shaking his head with a grin. “Ei, me sef, I forget. Becky diɛɛ, she always go be the last person to come.”
“Of course!” Nana Asor replied. “The Mademoiselle herself. She always comes later.”
Clarence shook his head, snickering as he went to turn on the television and start up the game for the guys to start getting busy.
About two minutes later, a knock at the door came through. The last member of the squad was in.
Clarence marched over to the door and opened, and sure enough, there stood Becky. In a satin maxi dress and her spectacles resting on her head. Dressed to kill, as always.
“Alaaa! The Mademoiselle herself!” Clarence cheered. “Miss OB nie! The sweet momee to end all sweet momees!”
Becky laughed. “You this guy, eh!” she scolded playfully before hugging him. “Always giving me pressure.”
He wasn’t the only one who would be giving her pressure, though. As she made her way to the living room, the appellations increased. Once she was in the presence of her friends, she wasn’t getting out of it.
“Ayyysshhh! Rebecca Maayaa nie! Babe mu babe!” Bruce teased.
“Bodzyy mu Michael Jackson! Alaa!” Deladem added.
“Hmmm, the bodzyy is bodzying! See, the way it’s serious, eh,” Nana Asor smirked, “chale, I think I’m questioning my sexuality right now…”
“Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey, my friend, you’re out of order, stop that!” Clarence interrupted her.
“Ashock! Question your what for the where? Massa, focus on your husband’s langalanga and stop that nonsense!” Deladem added, shaking his head at the snickering Nana Asor. Whenever she had something silly to say, you could always count on Clarence and Deladem to tell her she was ‘out of order’.
Becky shook her head as she took her seat. “All this madness will end the moment you people see my new Margot Robbie shape-“
“Margot Robbie keee you there, my dear,” Clarence swiftly replied her, in the calmest voice.
Becky was speechless, taken aback by the swift and calm nature of that retort. Everyone else roared with laughter and approval.
“That’s all, my guy!”
“Take give am kraaa!”
“Margot Robbie shape sɛ den? Maayaa, make we think, wai!”
***
“Mr. Aforo, it appears you have been teaching your wife the deeper rudiments to this game. I thought we agreed that this is a violation of the bro code,” Deladem commented, his eyes locked on the screen as he battled it out with Nana Asor. Usually the punching bag among the squad when it came to FIFA, Nana Asor was actually holding her own admirably, trailing Deladem by 3-2. Back then, attempting a shot on target alone would have been a cause for celebration for her. Now she was squaring up to the FIFA boss in the group quite admirably.
She snickered. “Hwɛ! Be there and be speaking brofo, wai. When he realized that your FIFA bro code cannot replace adi dɛdɛ, nobody advised him to do the needful.”
“Eeeeeeiiiiii!” Deladem exclaimed. While everyone guffawed at Nana Asor’s bluntness, he stared straight at Bruce. “Nigga, you sold out the bro code for that one? Waaawuuuuu! I… I’m speechless.”
Bruce rolled his eyes at Deladem’s mocking show of disapproval. “Massa, you will get there soon, and you’ll see it’s not lying on the ground like that.”
“Nahh, nahh, I’m not accepting. Ei, so because of some bedroom games, you sold out a tried and tested and universally approved FIFA bro code! Nahh, this is not acceptable! It is not!”
“Babe, you don’t mind him, okay? Small boys are young,” Nana Asor said to her husband.
“Oh, Asor, I no dey mind am kraaa,” Bruce stated with a smirk on his face. “He will grow and know.”
“Oh yes, oh yes. Na you Didayy, when your girlfriend shows you small knee sef, you dey shake. When you marry diɛɛ, the kpokpo body e go catch you, eh!”
“Knee? Hoh, Asor, you’ve gone far mpo. Let her just give him sexy eyes. Didayy will forget what FIFA sef means. Tweaa!”
“Ahhh!” Deladem laughed. “Herh, Mr. and Mrs. Aforo, respect yourselves, wati!”
As if on cue, Olivia emerged from the kitchen, along with Delasi.
“Oh, my turn, my turn,” she chanted, rushing over to where Nana Asor was seated. “I’m quite the pro at FIFA, you know.”
Deladem shot her a look of surprise, which then turned to sarcasm. “Oh, really?”
“Absolutely! I’ve just been watching you guys as you played, but I’m an absolute pro! And it’s time to show you,” she quipped.
Deladem rolled his eyes, while everyone else peered at her curiously. “You sure you’re an absolute pro, Olivia?” Delasi asked, her voice thick with skepticism.
“Absolutely sure!” she replied confidently.
Everyone knew she was just being her silly self as always.
Deladem shrugged. “Okay. If you say so. Then you must face the Sanhedrin. You’ll play against all of us. Me, Clarence, Bruce and Asor. Show us what you got.”
“Challenge accepted!” Olivia declared, receiving the gamepad from Nana Asor and taking her seat. “Time to show all you amateurs what a real pro can do!”
***
About an hour, and thirty-three goals conceded later, it was clear who the real amateur was.
Nana Asor, nodding in satisfaction as the game ended, got up and planted a kiss on Olivia’s forehead. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she gloated. “Now I know what it feels like to win big!”
Olivia looked very confused, as if she could not understand what had just transpired. “B-b-but… but I… I’m a pro! I’m a FIFA boss!”
“FIFA boss wey you dey collect 5 goals in one half?” Bruce mocked. “Ei, Miss Forson! Question marks dey your boss status ooo!”
Indeed, Olivia had spent the past hour getting utterly destroyed. Losing her first game against her boyfriend by 11 goals to nil, she went on to lose 8-0 to Clarence, 9-0 to Bruce and 5-0 to Nana Asor. They all knew she was just fooling about, and it was hilarious to watch her fail to back up her audacious claim and resort to all sorts of excuses, like her controller being problematic or her team not being good enough.
“No, seriously, I’m good at this,” Olivia insisted. “I’m just having a bad day at the office, that’s all. But I’m really good at this. I am!”
Deladem looked up to the heavens and shook his head, then looked his girlfriend in the eyes. “Livi. You just got thrashed 5-0 by Asor. Our whipping baby. You used PSG, complete with Messi, Mbappe and Neymar. She used Nottingham Forest. Please. Spare us.”
“But Nottingham Forest have won Champions League before, abi? And PSG have not. So if she beat me using them and I used PSG, it shouldn’t be a surprise, or?”
Deladem did the facepalm while everyone else burst into laughter. It was the serious expression on Olivia’s face that tickled them; she could keep a straight face while being an absolute clown so perfectly, you’d actually think she believed what she was saying.
“Nahhh, Olivia, you seriously make I tear! Herhhh!” Clarence laughed boisterously. “Explanation tactics papa paaa!”
“I promise, my guy, I promise!”
***
“Hmmm… macho man’s breakfast… uhhhh… oh, hold on, gimme a moment… uhh… oh, Gaston! Gaston! I dey kai! When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large…“
“And that is correct! One point to Clarence!”
So after the gaming session, they headed for the dining table and duly ate. Once everyone was nicely filled with the food, a conversation about old Disney movies popped up, and suddenly, a challenge between Olivia and Becky over who had greater knowledge of Disney songs turned into a three-way contest where the birthday boy, also an avid fan of Disney movies, got involved.
Before they knew it, a new game came up: Disney Song Trivia.
The game was simple: the three contestants would have to guess the song after being read a clue from a folded-up sheet. The clues, however, were pretty tricky and required a bit of contemplation before answering. As the quizmaster, Bruce had no intentions of making it so easy for them.
“Alright, now, contestant number 2. Becky. Your question,” he announced, dipping his hand into the bowl where the folded-up little sheets of paper containing the clues were written. Shuffling through them, he picked one out, opened it and read. “This Disney song can apply to evenings that you spend in cities like Doha, Riyadh, Dubai and Abu Dhabi.”
Becky’s face scrunched in slight confusion. “Ei. Mr. Aforo, which kind question be this?”
“You figure sey I go give you guys cheapside questions, eh? Please, not on my watch! Abeg, answer the tin, sha!”
Becky shook her head in amusement, and began to think. “Hmmm… lemme see… chale, na these cities too… uh, Doha is in Qatar, Riyadh is in Saudi Arabia, Dubai and Abu Dhabi diɛɛ, United Arab Emirates… hmm, wait… Arab countries, so… Arab eveni- ah, wait! I got it! Arabian niiiiiiiiiggghhtts, like Arabian daaaaaaaayyyyssss!“
“That’s right! Correct for one point!” Bruce announced triumphantly.
“Give them, girl!” Nana Asor cheered. “Show them that Gey Hey power!”
“Please, please, please, this no be Gey Hey matter,” Bruce butted in. “Abeg, rest with your Kakumdo distins!”
“Ashock!”
“Tell them!”
Deladem and Clarence were very vocal with their support of Bruce’s retort, unperturbed by the dirty looks of Becky and Nana Asor.
Nana Asor gave her husband a hard look. “You and me are gonna have a long talk when we get home, you hear-“
“Next question to Olivia!” Bruce announced, grinning as he ignored his wife’s warning. “Yes… alright, here goes: this song was sung in France, yet it contains just one French word.”
Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Hmmm… ah, yes! Belle! The only French word in there is Bonjour!”
“On point! One point for Olivia! Scorekeeper, how far, please!”
“Well, it’s been a tight race between the three so far,” Delasi responded, giving her best announcer impression. “Three points for each contestant and it’s crystal clear that this is neck and neck… and neck.”
“Okayyyy, so we move. Mr. Birthday Man, your question is… mmm, okay, this one be the cheap ones some. So your question is: this song encompasses war and motivation.”
Clarence paused for a moment, then shook his head. “You too, wey confusion tactics you take put this one inside? Inobi that Mulan song… uh… let’s get down to business, to defeat the Huns…”
“Indeed, the man is on track! One point to Clarence. Next contestant, the sweetest of sweet momees herself. Becky, your question is… in Africa, this song will be considered a Mami Wata promotion track.”
“Herrhhh!” everyone laughed. Nobody was expecting a question that ridiculous-sounding.
“It just had to be me that would get this question, didn’t it?” Becky sighed. “You’re really punishing me, Mr. Aforo!”
“Na with the way you make noise about that Margot Robbie nonsense, don’t you deserve it?”
She rolled her eyes. “No comment. Anyway, this is definitely from The Little Mermaid, so… lemme see… Under Da Sea! That one diɛɛ, they’ll call it marine spirit promotion track paaa!”
In the midst of his laughter, Bruce gave her a thumbs up. “Correct! Okay, one point to Becky. Next contestant, Didayy’s weakness. Olivia, your question is… okayyy, this one diɛɛ, e hard pass. This song contains a backward pronunciation of the song title.”
Everyone looked quite puzzled, wondering what song that could possibly be.
Olivia, though, had the slyest smirk. “Easy! Iiiiiiiiiiiit’s… supercalifragilisticexpialidocious/Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious/If you say it loud enough, you always sound precocious/Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!”
Bruce sat there, eyes wide. “Ei. Chale, the girl over me ooo,” he remarked. “She’s correct.”
Before he could go any further, though, Olivia continued.
“You know, you can say it backwards, which is Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think? Anyways…”
Now everyone around the living room was staring at her, their jaws hanging in pure amazement. It was mind-boggling how smoothly and effortlessly the backward version of that mouthful of a word rolled off her tongue.
“What the f… how the hell do you know that one?” Becky marveled, her eyes wide.
Immediately the room was filled with gasps of amazement and questions to Olivia. The original word was crazy enough to remember, but the backward version was something entirely different.
“Hol’ up, hol’ up, hol’ up!” Bruce called out, his phone in his hand as he opened YouTube and searched for the song. “V-A-R! V-A-R! See, let us verify this thing first. VAR review.”
As the others laughed and agreed, with Deladem doing the VAR sign, he opened the link, put the volume up, and listened attentively while moving to Olivia, who was singing along, word for word. Everyone silently listened to her and the song.
After the second chorus, it came up again.
“You know, you can say it backwards, which is Suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus, but that’s going a bit too far, don’t you think? Anyways…”
Having watched her while listening to that part of the song, it was undeniable that she was on point. She said it correctly.
Bruce shook his head and turned to Becky and Clarence, who still looked pretty amazed. “Abeg, guys, make we continue-“
“Immediately no!” Becky cut in. “Please, I beg. Game over!”
“See, Delasi, stop the count! Stop the count! Olivia wins!” Clarence declared. “This one, we no fit compete! Eiii!”
Everyone erupted in laughter. Including Olivia. Yep, she won this game, without a doubt. If she could remember the reverse of an already ridiculously unpronounceable word, then she had no competition.
“Ei, Olivia! You, we beg, you be the odogwu for this one! For this one diɛɛ, you are the true pro! We are just amateurs, wai!”
***
“Chale, it’s been an awesome evening, hasn’t it?” Deladem commented.
Everyone around the living room agreed. Indeed, it had been an evening of laughs, teasing, chats and trips down memory lane. The visit to Clarence’s place had totally been worth it; everyone had had a swell time. Now it was about 10:30 pm, and it was time for them to get moving.
“Chale, thanks for passing by, you guys,” Clarence gratefully thanked the squad. “You’ve really made it a good Saturday for me.”
“Oh, chale, anything for our guy! Abi you know, we’re always there for you,” Bruce stated.
Clarence nodded. “Of course. If I should be honest, on Thursday, as I dey my bed top dawn time, some miserable atmosphere come my top. I start dey think about the fact sey I lose my mommy, I lose my job, I lose my girl, so life really show me shege. But chale, at a point, I realize sey ibi nonsense kraaa. Yeah, I lose my old girl, I lose my job. But what about this circle? Them still no dey give me? That be when I reason up kraaa. Chale, if you no get proper circle of friends for this life inside, eh. It’ll be hard for you. But I’ve got you guys, so chale, even in this tough period, I’ve still got a smile on my face.”
Everyone nodded, smiling at his words.
“Exactly, baby boy,” Becky agreed. “We’ve always been there for each other, so chale, it’s not stopping now, or ever.”
“You bet,” Deladem chipped in. “It’s an unbreakable cord, chale. An unbreakable cord.”
Everyone nodded and smiled at each other. They had all been there for each other throughout the years, and no matter what, they would continue to be there for one another. Indeed, what bound them together was an unbreakable cord.
“Um, so Clarence, I hope you don’t miss that silly girl still. Because the way I’ll be disappointed in you, eh,” Delasi then questioned, shades of disapproval on her face.
That stern look and question had everyone laughing.
“Ei, no please ooo, I beg,” Clarence answered. “Na that girl diɛɛ, she be sankwas girl. Apuu!”
Nana Asor shook her head. “I thought that girl annoyed me until that day we met with her at Cues Corner. Delasi’s face alone, eiiii! I saw that the girl really dey bore her.”
“Asor, it was no joke! Abi you remember how I was ranting in the car when we left? Ah! That girl diɛɛ, thank God He kicked her out of your life, Clay…”
Well, that was a pretty fun one to go through! Definitely enjoyable for those of us who love our Disney stuff…
