It made no difference where he was, or how he got there. All he knew was that he had to get out of there immediately.

“Oh God, I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it! I just can’t believe it!” he cried to himself as he quickly flagged down the first taxi he saw as he found himself by the roadside. The taxi duly stopped, and he practically hopped in, telling the driver to take him to Yenisor Lodge.

As the driver began the journey, he sat back and covered his hands with his face.

“Ugh, Jeremy Provencal, what the hell have you done?” he moaned to himself.

There were many crazy things he had done in his lifetime. Stupid would be a better adjective for other things. But this? This had to be the pinnacle of stupidity.

How in the world did he end up sleeping with a girl he barely even knew? Like, how?

“I don’t even know her name, for God’s sake!” he continued to lament, his face down. “Oh, God! I’ve messed up! This is awful. Just awful…”

***

“Jeremy! Chale, where you go dey?”

“Eissshhhh! The lover boy is back! Most sensual dancer!”

The latter teasing voice of Kenzy was grating to his ears as Jeremy entered the room he was sharing with him and Enoch. That clown was always in the mood to tease, even when your mood was grave.

“Now’s not the time, chale. I’m in a terrible frame of mind right now,” Jeremy snapped, sauntering over to his bed and throwing himself on it, groaning in anger and punching the pillow.

Enoch, a little more serious than his counterpart, raised an eyebrow. “Jeremy, what’s wrong?” he asked, the concern apparent in his voice.

Having punched it a couple of times, Jeremy muffled an angry scream into the pillow. The scream lasted for a few seconds before metamorphosing into something else.

Tears.

Kenzy and Enoch stood there, confused as their friend hid his face in the pillow, weeping for a few minutes. Jeremy almost never cried, so it was weird to see him this way.

“Umm… Jeremy?” Enoch called once the weeping stopped. “What’s wrong?”

It took a while, but eventually, Jeremy lifted his face from the pillow and faced them, his eyes already turning red. “My life’s been fucked up,” he murmured.

The two looked at each other, then back at Jeremy. “What happened? Them rob you or something?” Enoch asked.

Jeremy shook his head.

“Is it about that girl you were dancing with?” Kenzy asked.

Jeremy nodded hesitantly.

“Why, what happened? We didn’t see you again after a while. You spent the night at her place?” Enoch enquired.

Eyes down, Jeremy sighed. Then he muttered shamefully. “Worse than that…I… I… I had sex with her.”

Silence fell over the room for a few moments.

Then Kenzy clapped his hands and laughed.

“Hahahaha! Herrhhh! So you fire the thing? First night norr, you destroy am? Kw333! Herhh, Jeremy! You be haaaarrrrrdddd guy, wati!”

Wiping his eyes before that, Jeremy looked up at him in disbelief.

Of all the things to say, this was what he thought of first? After seeing him break down, something he rarely did, that was his idea of a ‘comfort speech’?

“Kenzy. Are you serious?” he demanded. “Are you fucking serious right now? Of all the things to say to me, while I’m messed up, this is what you thought of? Are you fucking stupid?”

Kenzy’s mischievous grin instantly disappeared. “Ah. But you too, wassup?”

“You dey biz me wassup? You dey biz me wassup?” Jeremy demanded, his voice rising while he rose to his feet. “I just messed up monumentally, and you’re cheering me on? You fool like that?”

“Whoa, whoa, relax,” Enoch pleaded, coming in between them. “I dey beg, let’s not go overboard…”

“Overboard my ass!” Jeremy snarled, shoving Enoch aside. “The guy is there talking rubbish, and you say what? I just gave myself to some strange woman I don’t even know, and you’re there cheering me. Are you for real?”

“Bro, it’s just a joke-” Kenzy protested.

“Don’t be stupid, okay! Don’t be stupid!” Jeremy roared. “Joke for the where? You know goddamn well this isn’t funny. This ain’t no laughing matter!”

“Jeremy, relax-“

“Will you shut up with the relax bullshit? I just walked in here and cried my heart because of something terrible I’ve done, and you thought a stupid joke was what I needed? A stupid, senseless, insensitive joke! Fuck you, Kenzy! Fuck you!”

Kenzy looked totally flabbergasted by this fierce reaction. “Ah, Jeremy! But you know sey me, I dey joke all the time…”

Jeremy put up a hand, silencing him. The room was silent as Jeremy’s face remained down. Then he lifted it and looked straight at Kenzy.

“Kenzy,” he started slowly, “you’re old enough to know certain things. For one, you know that it’s not everything you joke with. You obviously wouldn’t make stupid jokes about wars and serial murderers, would you? And for two, Kenzy, you know me. You know I’m a happily married man with two lovely boys. You know how much I love Aurelia. You know she means the world to me. You know sey I still dey craze for that ass after all these years. You know this. You know it damn well. So don’t give me that bullshit about joking all the time. I just did something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. I just slept with another woman, a woman I barely even know, and I’m an absolute mess right now. What I need is wise counsel on what to do, that’s what I need! Not another stupid joke from you!”

Kenzy threw his hands up. “Bro, relax! You’re not the first man to cheat on his wife. Shit happens. It is what it is. Get over it!”

That outburst became a thing of regret the moment he saw Jeremy’s face. If that joke had ruffled his feathers, this one had harshly yanked them off.

“It is what it is? Huh? It is what it is?” Jeremy asked, slowly and menacingly moving towards Kenzy, who started to track back in fear. “Get over it? For real?”

Enoch, also sensing danger, tried to stand in between them. “Please, Jeremy, I dey beg, I really dey beg-“

“I SHOULD JUST GET OVER IT?? FUCK YOU, KENZY!”

That roar was punctuated with a shoving aside of Enoch, and a punch thrown at Kenzy’s face. It connected with his right eye.

Kenzy, who only possessed half of Jeremy’s Adonis-like physique, immediately fell to the ground. Before he knew it, Jeremy was on top of him, grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt.

“Fuck you for disrespecting my wife, you stupid shit!”

“Jeremy, Jeremy, stop!”

Enoch immediately came to Kenzy’s rescue, managing to pull Jeremy off him. Jeremy swung a fist in his direction, which he managed to dodge. He put his hands up to stop his raging friend. “Jeremy, please! I beg, calm down!”

“Fuck off with your umpire shit!” Jeremy snapped, pushing him back. “I don’t need you to tell me to calm down. I don’t! There’s nothing to be calm about right now!”

Enoch shook his head. “Jeremy, I beg you, please! There’s no need for this.”

“I dey shock! Ah, Jeremy paaa!” Kenzy grumbled, holding his eye while he rose to his feet. “Small joke, see how you hurt me. Ah, you really make I shock.”

Jeremy watched the two of them as they faced him, panting in and out for a moment. His chest heaved up and down with fury, pondering whether to heed them or continue to strike out.

After a few moments, he shook his head. A third option had just popped up. And it was a far better option.

“You know what?” he said. “I think I need to go back home.”

Enoch gasped. “Ah, but Jeremy, we’re supposed to go-“

“I don’t care when or where we’re supposed to go! I’m not staying another minute with you two.” With that, he went to his bed and took his small suitcase from under it.

Kenzy, having gotten a hard nudge from Enoch, walked over slowly to Jeremy. “See, Jeremy,” he began, “you… I make sorry, wai. I beg, you, let’s sit down and talk about this…”

“Massa, spare me that fake apology,” Jeremy spat at him. “There’s nothing to talk about. Let me go home to my family.”

“But-but we’re not done with the program!” Enoch blurted out. “We’re supposed to leave tomorrow evening.”

Jeremy shrugged. “Not my concern. I’d rather be with my little boys than with boys who have no respect for my marriage.”

Enoch moved to try and stop him. “Jeremy, please-“

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Jeremy snarled at him. “Don’t even try. You try and touch me or my suitcase and see if I won’t give you a black eye.”

Enoch froze where he stood. Indeed, Jeremy was strong enough to whoop both of them. A threat like that was not to be taken lightly, especially with the mood he was in.

Carrying his suitcase, he disappeared into the bathroom to get his other things and quickly brushed his teeth. Once he was done, he stepped out and headed for the door. Stopping in front of it, he turned to them, who were still pleading.

“Jeremy, we dey beg, make you no lef,” Kenzy begged, now looking a bit remorseful.

“Come on, Jeremy, no need for this. We be brothers!” Enoch pleaded.

Jeremy eyed them up and down, disgust on his face. “Brothers? Brothers who half-forced me to get drunk last night? Brothers who pushed me to go make moves on that lady? Brothers who watched me walk into making the biggest mistake of my life, then applauded me for it?” he demanded. “If that’s what being brothers is about, then guess what? Fuck you and fuck your brotherhood. I’m out.”

He slammed the door shut behind him.

Well, I dunno why he’s spending time with such friends, coz they look like they have little to no sense. And yeah, he’s messed up big time…