Gidigba, we dey form gidigba

Gidigba, we dey form gidigba

Gidigba, we dey form gidigba

It was Saturday, and the birthday party for Raymond was in full effect. With Stonebwoy’s ‘Gidigba’ on deck, playing through Jonny’s Bluetooth speakers and a host of celebrants around, the atmosphere was a good one.

Raymond and Jonny were busily trying to teach Remaliah their simple dance moves to the song, and Akushika, who had just put Ellen to sleep, walked in to find Remaliah following along quite admirably.

“Oooooh, Sir Remmy on the dance floor!” she teased. “We love to see it!”

Remaliah grinned at her, shrugged and replied, “It’s really simple once you get the hang of it.”

“Oh yeah,” Jonny agreed. “This one sef, it’s right up his alley. Firm and strong diɛɛ, that’s his alley.”

“Of course, lah!” Raymond added. “This is the originator of ‘double cheeseburgers’ we’re talking about. He’s the definition of firm and strong!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay with the adulations!” Remaliah joked, putting his hands up.

“Everybody gather around for the birthday cake!”

The booming voice of Drusilla rang out as she entered the living room, carrying a small birthday cake. Everyone around quickly gathered as she placed it on the table and beckoned Raymond to come closer.

A small semi-circle surrounding the living room table, Drusilla began.

“Thank you all for coming around to celebrate with us. We’re very happy that you all took the time to join us. As we already know, it’s Raymond’s birthday, and since it’s time to cut this cake, I believe it’s only right that we hear from the birthday man himself. So Raymond, please, it’s your moment. Let us hear from you!”

Raymond smiled as she stepped back. He then took a deep breath before speaking.

“Thank you, Maa Dru. And uh, thank you to everyone, for being here today. It’s been quite an interesting year, hasn’t it? Each one of you has made my life brighter and more meaningful, in various ways, and I’m glad to have you all around. I’m truly grateful for the love and support you’ve shown me over the years I’ve been living here in Kumerica. Here’s to many more birthdays, many more memories, and many more moments shared with all of you. Cheers to all of us!”

“Cheers!” everybody responded joyfully.

As Akushika clapped along with the others, her eyes met his, and they smiled at each other.

***

A few meters from the flat, where the family and others were having fun, a dark, hooded figure stood around, fists clenched as he stared at the building.

Drill.

He took a step forward, then paused. His hands trembled: not with fear, but with barely contained rage. It wasn’t just about the loss of his inheritance anymore. It was about the humiliation.

The utter humiliation.

The humiliation of getting exposed as the father of this child he never gave an iota of a damn about. The humiliation of being forced to come to Kumasi to ‘make things right’. The humiliation of getting kicked out of the hospital the first time. The humiliation of getting barred from the hospital the second time. The humiliation of getting cut off from the will.

So much humiliation. And it was all the fault of Akushika and that dumb ‘family’ of hers.

He had stewed over this for a couple of days, and the more he dwelt on it, the angrier he got. To make matters worse, his mother had called him the previous day, demanding why he had failed his granduncle, and confirming the worst.

Indeed, the old man had instructed his lawyer to add a codicil to his will, eliminating him from inheriting any property or money whatsoever. He had not issued that as a mere threat; he was dead serious.

Now, as he stood there, the anger was at its boiling point. He didn’t really care what kind of consequences followed; all he knew was that he needed to punish them. He hadn’t searched for their place of abode for nothing.

They really thought they could mess him up and afterward stand there playing happy families while he was left with nothing? They were out of their minds!

Drill’s lip curled into a sneer. “Kwasia girl! You think you can ruin my life and just live happily up there with that foolish baby and the idiots up there?” he spat, his voice low and venomous. “Nah, not tonight. You will smell pepper. Tonight, eh, I’ll show you what happens when you cross Drill.”

Maybe the old man wouldn’t leave him a pesewa or a parcel of land, but he’d leave something for them all right.

He’d make sure they remembered him after tonight.

For the rest of their lives.

***

“Bukky! Bukky, the Sheltons have dropped another video ooo!” Akushika called, giggling as she walked into the dining room. Early evening was approaching, and most of the guests had left. The Flat Fam was still hanging around, however, as usual.

“Eii, let’s see what criminal antics this woman is up to,” Bukky snickered as she took her seat next to her. Together, they watched and laughed at the shenanigans of their favourite TikTok influencer, with her skits of scamming her husband yet again.

“Ah-ah! After all the shege this woman dey show you, you still gave her your ATM card?” Bukky wondered.

Akushika shook her head. “Nahh, this one, he deserves whatever he gets. You know this your wife with her big eyes is a premium crook, and still, you’ve given her your card to pay the landlord. Please, he deserves it.”

“Say it again! Wife that is always hiding food from you and telling you lies. He should have sent her back to her parents’ house by now.”

“Ehh! It’s like he doesn’t want peace in his life. I think he enjoys it…”

While the ladies were focused on their videos, Remaliah called out. “Jonny! Where’s the gift I got for Raymond?”

“Oh yeah, it’s in my apartment!” Jonny responded. “Lemme go get it for you.”

“Nah, nah, don’t worry about it. Just give me your keys and lemme get it myself.”

Jonny shrugged, then took out the keys and tossed it at the old man. “Okay, big man.”

Remaliah beamed as he caught the keys with the accuracy of a world-class goalkeeper. “Kaish! See how I’m on form with that catch!”

“Alaa! You dey form ampa!” Jonny joked. “Sir Remmy Cech, wati!”

Remaliah laughed as he exited the apartment.

Nearby, as Raymond was also busily checking out TikTok videos, Akushika and Bukky continued checking out others of the skit maker they liked. Akushika shook her head at the current video. “Naaa, honestly, Bukky, I’m starting to lose sympathy for this man. This criminal you have as a wife, you’re giving her money to buy birthday present for your mother? Ebei!”

Bukky stifled a laugh. “Shika, this one be Stockholm syndrome ooo-“

“AKUSHIKA!”

The living room door flew open as a strange person, whose voice yelled her name, burst in, startling all who were there.

Immediately, everyone wondered who the heck that was.

A millisecond later, the answer to that question appeared in the doorway. And everyone in the living room rose to their feet in shock.

Especially Akushika.

“Drill?” she gasped.

Glaring at her, the hooded figure breathed heavily, looking ready to cause havoc.

Drusilla, who was in the bedroom with Ellen, came out wondering what was happening, only to freeze in shock upon seeing him stand there.

Akushika was stupefied beyond belief.

How in the world did this guy keep popping up? What did he want?

Pointing a finger at her, he snarled, “You this girl, eh, you are the cause of all my problems, you know that? You are the reason I can’t catch a break in this life. You and that stupid little thing I never needed. Do you know how much trouble you’ve caused me? Do you know how… how much I’ve lost because of you? Because you kept telling the f**king world that I’m the father of that thing? Huh?”

Turning to the rest of the crew, he snarled, “And the rest of you… you think it’s cool to support this life destroyer? Ehh? You sit there and watch her f**k up my life with her bulls**t and keep backing her? You think you can deny me of what’s mine and get away with it just like that? F**k you all! I swear, all of you will pay for this! Starting right now!”

He then reached behind him and pulled something.

Everyone grew pale with fright upon seeing what it was.

A small but sharp knife.

“Jesus! He’s armed!” Bukky gasped.

Jonny, fueled by adrenaline, sprang forward in an attempt to disarm Drill.

However, his efforts were met with resistance, and in dodging the attack, Drill swiftly slashed Jonny in the arm.

“AAAAAAAGGHHHHH!”

Blood seeped through Jonny’s sleeve as he winced in pain, dropping to the floor and clutching his injured arm.

“JONNNYYYYYYY!” Bukky screamed.

Raymond, upon seeing Jonny injured and the situation escalating, didn’t hesitate to spring into action. He leaped into the fray, grappling with Drill and doing his best to wrestle the knife from him.

Drill, however, wasn’t going to give up that easily, as he resisted the attempts and tried his best to make Raymond his next victim.

Their struggle was intense, each trying to overpower the other, the knife flashing dangerously close. The room was filled with the sounds of grunts between the two, as well as the groans of Jonny and the whimpers of Bukky and Akushika.

“HEYY!”

A loud voice boomed through the doorway.

And what followed was a sudden, sharp slap from behind, right on the ear of Drill.

Totally caught off-guard, Drill staggered back, losing his grip on Raymond, and his eyes rolled back as he lost consciousness, collapsing onto the floor with a thud.

Behind him stood a seething Remaliah.

A hot ‘double cheeseburger’ had been delivered. Steaming hot, like Jonny and Raymond would say.

There was no time for jokes, however. A dear member of the Flat Fam was down.

“Raymond! Bukky! Get Jonny to the hospital! Now!” Remaliah barked, switching to soldier mode. Turning to Akushika and Drusilla, who were cowering at the dining table, he ordered, “Dru, get Shika in the room. Keep watch over her and the baby.”

Turning over the unconscious Drill, his expression darkened further. “This fool again?” he growled.

As Raymond and Bukky hurriedly carried Jonny out of the apartment and Akushika was taken in, he hoisted Drill over his shoulders. Just then, Drusilla entered the dining room again. “Remmy, are you taking him to the police station?” she asked.

The look in his eyes as he stared at her was enough of an answer. He wasn’t planning on taking him to the police station. He had other plans.

“Remmy, are you-“

“Just go back in, Dru,” he responded coldly. “Lemme do what I need to do.”

“Remmy, ple-“

“Back in, Dru! Lemme handle this.”

***

Akushika held Ellen close to her chest, her heart palpitations still as fierce as ever. She shook her head continually, wondering what the heck Drill was rambling about concerning losing stuff.

Drusilla entered the room. “Everything’s okay, Shika. Remmy’s taking him out of the house.”

Akushika sighed in relief. “Ohh, thank God. I hope he gets locked up at that police station for a long time.”

“Hmmm,” Drusilla sighed. She knew Drill was not going to spend a minute behind police cells.

Knowing her husband, the fate that awaited that foolish young man was much, much worse than spending any amount of time behind bars.

Much, much worse.

Unbelievable! Drill went there to stab and hurt them? What a senseless move! I wonder what Sir Remmy will do to him…