“Hahaha! Ei, Nana, the way you finish this ball of kenkey diɛɛ, ibi like the fight really drain you ooo!”

Looking up from his empty plate, Nana Adjei smirked at Divine as he shook his head. “Chale, those two really make I taya. So early in the morning too. Ahba!”

It was midday, and the two gossip buddies were out for lunch. It had been one of those memorable mornings at court. A gentleman had sued his sister for recovery debt, and that morning, as they met at the premises, it was far from pleasant. It was clear that these siblings had become fierce enemies, and their vitriol toward each other spilled out.

Nana Adjei had intervened and tried to restore order, but the gentleman, ordinarily resident in the Netherlands, was so coked up on rage, he refused to see reason, and his sister was more than eager to engage him in brutal combat. It got so ugly, backup was needed to separate them and bring them to order.

When their case was finally called, Justice Paul spent almost ten minutes tearing into them, humbling them into timidity. With a final promise that any fights in subsequent sittings would lead to warrants for their arrests, it was crystal clear that the judge would not tolerate such attitudes again.

Divine shook his head as he continued to eat. “Ibi crazy. Serious bickering up and down the premises. You’ve not even stepped into the courtroom yet!”

“Say it again ooo. Hmmm. Working at court diɛɛ, you’re always going to see the worst in people.”

“Always ooo, always. You see people at their lowest, their greediest, their wickedest… chale. If you’re not careful, you’ll just lose hope and become some paranoid human being altogether.”

Nana Adjei crossed his arms, his gaze thoughtful as he nodded. “Hmmm. What else can we say? Every day here is a lesson. A lesson in understanding the human condition. Sometimes, it just makes you cynical. You see the same stories, but with different faces. But then too, there are those rare moments when you see someone genuinely relieved, justice served, reconciliation.”

“Yeah, true, true,” Divine agreed. “Of course, it’s not all bad. But days like today, with those siblings? Chale, issa reminder that this job is not just about law, but also about witnessing human nature in all its complexity.”

“Truth, chale. But if we no do am, who again go do am?”

“Talk am again! Somebody for do am! And for all the madness, there’s always some crazy memories we can tell our kids in the future.”

***

“Uh, Wayne, can I see you for a minute?”

Wayne looked up from his seat to see Elias before him. The courtroom was almost empty, as proceedings for the day had ended quite early, and a number of the workers had gone for lunch. It was just the two of them and Natalie, who was engrossed in her typing and editing.

Wayne, who had been watching videos on TikTok, shrugged and rose to his feet. “Sure, why not?”

He followed Elias to one corner of the courtroom and waited with anticipation, wondering what Elias, who didn’t really talk much with other workers, had to say.

Elias cleared his throat, then began. “Ummm, so it’s a bit of a sensitive matter concerning love things and… I just thought since you’re a happily married man, you might have an idea or so on what I should do.”

Wayne nodded. “Sure, sure. So, what’s up?”

“So, uh… there’s this neighbour of mine. We’re in the same apartment. She’s a really sweet girl and… we’ve been talking a lot, and I can feel it in my heart of hearts that… I’m falling in love with her.”

Wayne smiled. “I don’t usually do this, but awwww, that’s so sweet.”

Elias laughed nervously. “Thanks, I guess. My issue is, I want her to know how I feel, but I’m not sure how to go about it. I dunno, it just feels like I need that perfect moment to really make things work. So I just wanted to find out how your perfect moment was like, and how you made it happen, or something like that.”

Wayne shook his head, a knowing smile on his face. He laid a hand on Elias’ shoulder, ready to impart some knowledge into his lovestruck colleague.

“Eli, the worst thing to do in these sort of situations is wait for the ‘perfect moment’. Trust me, there’s no such thing as a predestined perfect moment you’ll just walk into. If you make that mistake, you might end up telling her when it’s too late. The sooner you tell her, the better. Make the moment for yourself.”

Elias looked genuinely surprised. “Ohh, okay, okay. I dunno, I… I always thought there’s got to be that specific moment and all. Anaa was it just me getting influenced by movies?”

Wayne laughed. “Possibly. As for movies, they’ll always make those things seem so magical and stuff. Chale, sometimes you have to make the magic yourself. For me, there was nothing like a perfect moment to propose to Alayaa. I just decided that chale, the girl has to know that I dey craze give am. That was all. I mean, I could not slack on that ass.”

Elias stifled a laugh. He knew as well as everyone else how obsessed Wayne was with his wife’s backside.

“That’s just by the way. So yeah, abeg, forget about any perfect moment. Just go for it, chale. If you feel it in your heart of hearts that that’s the girl for you, make you no dey waste time. Just tell her how you feel, and hope for the best. So yeah, that’s what I have to say.”

Elias smiled widely. “Thanks a lot, Wayne. I’m really grateful. I’ll not waste time anymore. I’ll do it ASAP.” He then shook Wayne’s hand and pulled him into a brotherly hug.

“Good, good. Do wild!” Wayne responded, patting him on the back. “And lemme know how it goes.”

“Most definitely, chale.”

***

Elias stood in his living room, staring at himself in the living room mirror. He took in a deep breath, then let it out. “Time to make my move,” he whispered to himself.

After Wayne’s exhortation, he had spent the rest of the day gearing himself toward that special step. Everything spoken to him had sunk deep into his cranium, and he had encouraged and motivated himself to the uttermost. As he stood there, he was resolute in his decision. No more sitting around waiting for a perfect moment, as Wayne had advised. It was time to seize the moment.

Tonight, he would finally ask Akyaa to be his girlfriend.

“You’ve got this, Elias,” he muttered, practicing his lines for almost the forty-seventh time. “Let’s go over this again… umm, ‘Akyaa, I’ve liked you for a long time. I think you’re amazing, and I was wondering—”

He stopped and winced, shaking his head. “Nah, nah, too stiff. Chale, it’s the tension getting to me. Let me get some fresh air.”

He turned toward the open window and stuck his head out, the fresh evening air a welcome slap on his face.

He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, whispering encouragement to himself.

And then, he heard voices drifting up from the Aubynns’ balcony below. He froze, his heart skipping as her lilting laughter echoed upwards.

She was in a conversation with her mother.

“Oh, Maa, why are you bringing this up again?”

Her mother’s voice followed, lighter than Elias had ever heard it. “I’m just asking, dear. You’ve been spending so much time with that Elias boy upstairs. I’ve noticed how you smile when you talk about him.”

His stomach flipped within him as Akyaa’s amused laughter floated above.

Her mother had noticed something between them? Was she against it?

“Ei, Maa, this one diɛɛ, you just want to be on my case.”

“Oh, no ooo. I don’t have any issue with him anymore ooo. He seems like quite a decent guy.”

The sudden rush of fear immediately dissuaded. He sighed a sigh of relief. Oh, thank God for that. At least that’s not gonna be a problem…

“But I’m just curious… what about Francis? He’s still in the picture, isn’t he?”

A chill instantly spread through his chest.

Francis?

There was a Francis in the picture?

Akyaa’s answer was calm but definitive. “Of course, Maa. Francis and I are still together. Just because he’s in France doesn’t mean we’re not in a relationship. We’ve been through a lot to make this work, and we’re still gonna make it work.”

“Ahhhh. So you guys still chat?”

“All the time, Maa. All the time. I’m happy with Francis. That’s not changed.”

Her mother hummed thoughtfully. “Hmm. Ahh, well. Ɛyaa Long-distance relationships can be tricky, but if you say you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I am,” Akyaa said firmly. “No doubt about it. Elias is just a friend, that’s all.”

Elias stepped back from the window, his legs suddenly feeling unsteady. The laughter and conversation below blurred into a dull buzz as his mind replayed her words.

… Francis and I are still together… we’ve been through a lot to make this work…

… I’m happy with Francis… I’m happy with Francis… I’m happy with Francis… Elias is just a friend, that’s all…

Oh wow, so Akyaa actually had a boyfriend all along? Ouch! Poor Elias…